Outside

Outside Jokes

I was doing a magic show, i tried to make a bunny disappear but it didn’t work. I walked outside in shame, i looked up and realised the towers had disappeared!!!!

Your so fat when you went outside you broke the rules for 2 meter for covid

A Vampire goes to the Bakery:

Vampire🧛‍♂️: „One Bun please.“

Bäcker👩‍🍳: „But you're Vampire, don't you need blood 🩸 ?“

Vampir🧛‍♂️: „Yes, there is an accident outside and i need something to dip“

A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of money and he asks the bartender what's up with that jar of money bartender says you gotta do 3 task he takes the shot of Jack and the customer says what are the tasks he says the 1st one is but the 1st 1 is I got about a 12' gator in the back that's got a bad tooth and you gotta pull it he says all right what's the 2nd 1 he said I got a big old girl upstairs that aint had no loving in a long time you gotta make her smile he takes another shot of Jack he said all right what's the 3rd 1 he said you see that horse outside you gotta make him laugh and cry Guy goes upstairs goes out back comes out to the front comes back in the other customer said give him the jar The guy says I took care of that lady's tooth and I made that alligator smile well how'd you make the horse laugh he said easy i told him I had a bigger deck then him bartender says how did you make him cry he said easy I showed him

You’re so fat; if you go outside now, you’d be arrested for breaking social distancing guidelines.

A father of five puts on gas mask and a hazard suit, and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked "Dad, what are you wearing?". The father would answer with "A costume for Halloween.". the child asked "can i join?". He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. *after that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.

So one day I saw a dog outside so I played with it then I was like I’m ganna see it’s name and where it lives so I did then...it’s name was momo then I looked to see where it lived it said joe momma street

so once upon a time there was a man who lived in his house with his wife

he got up to go out to work and closed the front door behind him

not even 4 seconds later he came back inside panicking, saying "there's a rabbit with a gun outside!"

the wife replied "oh don't worry rabbits don't have guns they can't shoot people- you must be imagining things"

the man calmed down for a few minutes, and after some reassuring, he eventually decided to try to go back out to work again

so he stepped outside the front door and the rabbit shot him

Little Johnny was playing outside and steps on a honeybee, his dad sees this and says "i saw what you did and for that, you get no honey for two weeks." Johnny replies "i don't care, i don't like honey anyway." About fifteen minutes later little Johnny is playing with the butterflies and rips the wings off of one. His dad bursts out and says " i saw that, and for it you get no butter for a month." Little johnny replies "I don't care, i don't like butter anyway." Both little johnny and his dad go in for dinner, johnny's mother sees a cockroach on the ground and steps on it. little johnny looks and smiles and says "do you want to tell her or should i?"

You walk in to a old ran down house and you see that a light is on you walk over to the light and you see blood all over the room and you run to the exit to leave but when you get to the door somehow it is locked from the outside and you have no choice but to go in to the house more and you see another room with a light on so you go in when you go In “flip” all the light go off then yo7 see a bright light and then a screen shows up and it says “let the game show begin” yiu see other people next to you and they seem scared then a wall comes down yiu see a optical cores and yi7 go on and then a chainsaw comes at yiu and it misses you but the other kid behind you gets hit and dies

Part two comeing soon this is inspired by the scp foundation have a nice summer

Jordan u stupid ass! Addison never botherd u so leave her FUCK alone! How about this. get up go outside, stop being an jackass and get fucking life!

Two boys were playing cards on a picnic table outside the school. Both of the boys had revolvers hidden in their waistband. Now, one of the boys was a notorious cheater, who liked to hide his cards in his waistband. Recess was just about to end, when all the kids heard a loud bang erupt from the picnic table. In tears, the card player admitted that he had shot the other card player, stating "I played a King, and he started reaching for his waistband!"