Order jokes
I feel bad for the guy in 9/11 who ordered a salami pizza. Instead, he just got a plane.
What do you call someone in a wheelchair being pushed by a cannibal?
A to-go order.
Two people are in a restaurant. Person #1 doesn’t order anything, and Person #2 orders a chili.
Person #1: “Aren’t you gonna eat your bowl of chili?”
Person #2: “No, you can have it.”
Person #1: “Ok, thanks...”
Person 1 starts eating his food only to find half of a dead rat! He vomits all of the food back into the bowl.
Person #2: “That’s about as far as I got too!”
A collection of 911 jokes.
What kinda pizza did they order at 911?
Plane.
What was the color of 911?
Plane.
What is the fastest way to see 911?
Plane.
In heaven, the Englishman is responsible for jokes, the Italian man for food, and the German man for law and order. In hell, the Englishman is responsible for food, the Italian man for law and order, and the German man for jokes.
So, a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, "I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke." So the guy says, "Alright, so a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink." The bartender says, "I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke." So the guy says, "So a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink." The bartender says, "I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke." So the guy says, "So a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink." The bartender says, "Okay, here you go." So he gives the guy a drink, so he gives the guy a drink, so he gives the guy a drink.
A ham sandwich walks into a bar, and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,
"What part of the dog did you get?"
Why did the Star Wars movies come out 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3?
Yoda was in charge of scheduling.
Emma Watson gets hotter and hotter in the Harry Potter movies when you’re watching in reverse order.
Why were the people on the World Trade Center so pissed?
People, they ordered pepperoni pizza, but they got plane.
The Twin Towers ordered a sesame bagel. They got the plane one instead.
Yo mama so ugly, she got a lifetime ban from KFC for ordering too many burgers.
I ordered a pizza with everything on it, but I got a plain pizza.
Me: Bro, I don't think the Twin Towers will ever order pizza again.
Friend: Why?
Me: Because when they ordered pepperoni, all they got was plane.
Here’s one for the Aussies: What’s the difference between an echidna and a police car? All the pricks are on the inside.
This bunny named Mason came up to a bar and ordered a beer and a burger. He sits at a table and the waiter brought a huge burger.
Mason: "Heh. Good thing I eat like a horse." He looks up at the waiter.
Waiter: "You are a nasty little bunny, aren't you?"
Mason screamed and ran away as the waiter chased him... she was a HORSE.
What flavor of pizza did the Twin Towers order?...
Plane.
What do you call it when a man wants food in Panera?
Panera bread serving food.
A mom and her son are taking a walk when they pass a homeless man fapping. The boy asks, "What is that man doing?" The mom says, "Making pizza," trying to turn him away.
The son sees a dog fucking another dog and he asks the same thing. She says, "Making extra cheese." When they pass a window and see a couple doing it, he asks the same thing. She says, "Ordering the pizza."
Later that day, the mother says to the father, "I think I want to order some pizza with extra cheese tonight, don't know why that sounds good."
So that night, the husband who was watching tv yelled up the stairs, "Wanna order some pizza!?"
The mother replied, "DON'T WORRY I'M MAKING SOME!"
The son's voice followed, "I'M ADDING EXTRA CHEESE!"