Offensive jokes
What do you call a spaceman’s willy?
A Shuttlecock!
So, an Irish man is walking his poodle, and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints.
So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says, "Sorry, you can’t go in." The Irish man says, "Why can’t I go in?" "Well, you have a dog, sir, and that sign over there says no dogs allowed. You’re going to have to leave him outside." Well, the Irish man thinks quick and says, "I’m blind; it’s a seeing eye dog." The owner says, "That’s ridiculous. A seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that." The Irish man says, "Well, what kind of dog did they give me??"😂
What do pedophiles call children in wheelchairs?
"Meals on Wheels."
What’s the hardest thing to eat on a vegetable? The wheelchair.
Me: *posts random joke about a duck*
That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."
That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."
Bro it’s a joke...
Where do you buy a dishwasher?
Hot singles in your area.
So this blind man was walking down the street with his stick, right? And he walked past this fish market, he took a deep breath and said, "WWOAAH GOODMORNING LADIES!"
What's the best thing about an abortion joke??
No one gets offended.
I hate the term feminazi. It is offensive to real Nazis.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a hockey player?
A hockey player gets to shower after three periods.
WARNING OFFENSIVE: What is the difference between a redhead and a brick? ... A brick gets laid.
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
I used to be a man trapped in a woman’s body. But then I was born.
What begins with F and ends with CK?
Fuck, I mean fire truck.
What does a frozen loading screen and a Make-A-Wish kid have in common?
They both couldn't make it all the way.
How do you tell the difference between a Palestinian elementary school and a terrorist training camp?
Answer... I don't know, I just fly the drone.
Why are obese jokes so offensive?
Because fat people have enough on their plate.
Oh, my fat joke offended you? Which one of your chins did I hurt?
My dad is Al-Qaeda, and he even took a plane trip to New York in 2001.
I am a registered sex offender. I'm just playing, I'm not registered yet.