Me: I got kicked out of the library the other day.
Friend: Why?
Me: Because I put the women rights book in the fiction section.
Woah, nice cock.
Why are Michael Jackson and caviar so much in common?
They both come on little white crackers.
My wife is like a mirror.
I can never look at it.
Why the actual fuck is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not, and no one will know the goddamn difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, "It’s too offensive" or something like that. Goddamn just take that shit somewhere else.
What do you call a gay drive-by? A fruit roll-up.
How do you fit 3 gay guys on a barstool? Flip it upside down.
My friend was on a wheelchair... he committed suicide yesterday. I remember when I met him last time, he told us a good joke and I appreciated him and told him to become a stand-up comedian.
Have you ever had sex camping?
It's inTENTS.
Why can’t Chinese people play cricket... Because they ate all the bats
My grandpa died during World War II. He was the best concentration camp guard they have ever seen. RIP.
A shop assistant is helping a little boy find his mum "WHATS SHE LIKE" he asked the boy BIG COCKS AND VODKA" said the boy.
Why does USA suck at Clash Royale? They already lost two towers.
Japanese people are so cool and organized, they have their own ways of suicide.
😥This is offensive, sorry: What did the king say to his royal steed? "You gonna start the dishwasher or what?"
Trying to make jokes in 2020-2021 be like:
Comedian: "When she went in front of the TV, it took an hour till you could see the screen again."
Audience: "Why you gotta be so offensive?"
Comedian: "I'm not tr-"
Audience: "Oh, so now you're trying to debate?"
Comedian: "I-"
Audience: "Now you're acting racist?!"
What's grosser than gross? A truckload of dead babies.
What's grosser than that? A live one at the bottom.
What's grosser than that? When he eats his way out.
Grosser than that? When he goes back for more.
I am a registered sex offender. I'm just playing, I'm not registered yet.
So this blind man was walking down the street with his stick, right? And he walked past this fish market, he took a deep breath and said, "WWOAAH GOODMORNING LADIES!"
what is the difference between a stoner and a mexican Stoners have papers
