Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.
Off Jokes
Why did the man get fired from work? Because he took two days off in February.
You abuse me that I have no beards, but your sugar daddy shaved them off to look cute. 🤔
Yo momma so fat, a picture of her would fall off the wall!
Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.
If you take off the first and last letter of "demon," they're gonna turn emo.
What did Africa say to the grass? Get off me!
A sister went to her brother's room and says,
"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"
"Yes, sis."
"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)
"My pet snake."
"Can I pet it?"
"Yes."
He wakes up in a hospital.
"What happened?"
"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."
"You dummy!"
"Whaaat?"
What did the fork say to the cake when he said, "I hope you get eaten?"
Fork off!
My friend said she was tired of seeing me every day.
So I pushed her off the side of a cliff.
I wanted to fall off a cliff, sadly, there aren't any cliffs near my house.
Which city holds the record for the most suicides committed from a gorilla jumping off a tall building?
It was called Fall-adelphia.
Why did my dad leave me and my mum?
I told him it wasn't big enough and then ran off saying, "Daddy, yeeeees!"
A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"
I've been taking Viagras for sunburn.
It keeps the sheets off my bed at night!
What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off a bridge? "(sign language)"
What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?
"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"
People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"
And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"
Get off of here, kids!
Sally fell off the swing.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not Sally.
