Off jokes

You're so bald, the reflection off your head is blinding people in India.

Ok, I found this off of an internet meme, this isn't original:

*grabbing kid* Harambe: Ok kid, I don't have much time, but Obama's last name is- *gunshot*

What's meaner than taking candy from a baby?

Throwing the baby off a cliff.

5 Little Monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said... "Wait, why are there mines all over the floor?"

There were 500 bricks on a plane. One fell off.

Little Sally was crossing a river full of crocodiles. How did she survive the river? She had a gun. When she got out of the river, she died. Why? Because a brick fell on her head.

"Now buzz off" - Explain Bear

If Kamala Harris is Indian, why doesn’t she have that dot on her head?

So she claims to be.

And the only black color I know is when you shut off the lights.

What did the beat say to the rapper?

"You're off rhythm, but I'll give you a hand!"

Teacher on school bus, "Everybody sit down now, the bus is about to start."

Ben: "I’m not going to sit down. I don’t want to."

Teacher: "You have to, or else you have to get off the bus."

Teacher: "*stands up*"

Ben: "Then you should get off the bus 'cause you're not sitting."

Your mama is so stupid. She fell off a bike and didn't know which way to fall!

You abuse me that I have no beards, but your sugar daddy shaved them off to look cute. 🤔

Yo momma so fat, a picture of her would fall off the wall!

Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

Knock, knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally.

Which city holds the record for the most suicides committed from a gorilla jumping off a tall building?

It was called Fall-adelphia.

If you take off the first and last letter of "demon," they're gonna turn emo.

The Stephen Hawking space telescope will be launched next year. Apparently, it will have four wheels and run off Windows 7.

I wanted to fall off a cliff, sadly, there aren't any cliffs near my house.

Why did my dad leave me and my mum?

I told him it wasn't big enough and then ran off saying, "Daddy, yeeeees!"

What's the difference between emos and 9/11?

The emos are still there, high up off the ground.