Off jokes
How do you piss off a color blind person?
Give them a Rubik's cube.
I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn't know back-to-school sales had started already!
How do you stop an argument between two deaf people? Switch off the lights.
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!
Memes
Yo mama so fat, she fell off the judgement room and broke the 7 layers of hell.
What do you call an inexpensive circumcision? A rip-off.
Why'd the girl fall off the swing?
'Cause she had no arms.
Knock, knock!! Who's there?
Not the girl.
If you jump off a building and yell "parkour," how can they tell that it was intentional? T'was a failed stunt.
If your uncle Jack needed help getting off of a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?
What do you call a group of emos about to jump off a bridge? Suicide Squad.
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. Do you know what he said?
"Get your paws off!" 💩💩💩
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off!
That one teacher that flips on and off the light switch to get the students' attention... that one kid with epilepsy...
What do you do to 7 to make it even? Take off the "s".
She later made me a sandwich, and she cut the crust off it.
My wife and I have decided that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board.
"No, I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken."
What does a French guy say when he falls off?
Oh no, Eiffel!
Yo mama so slutty the abortion clinic gave her a loyalty card and coupon for 20% off her next abortion.