How do you know the hooker killed herself?
She sniffed the line off the dresser you said not to touch.
Off Jokes
Yo mama is so fat, a picture of her would fall off the wall.
What sound did Stephen Hawking make when he died? Power off.
If I were to cut your legs off, would it hurt? Because your legs will be cut off...
5 4 3 2 1. I love the huge bright sun. 5 4 3 2 1. My life has just begun. Though Akeld and Unkown, make me feel alone, they want be dead, and off with my head, and all I said was... NO FRICKIN' HATIN' IN THESE COMMENTS! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"
Five little monkeys jumping on a bed.
One fell off and bumped his head. Mamma called Walmart, and Walmart said,
"We will give you a replacement!"
You're so trash that when I dropped you off, I got a ticket for littering.
How do you ground a person in a wheelchair?
Take off the wheels!
How do you piss off a color blind person?
Give them a Rubik's cube.
I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn't know back-to-school sales had started already!
How do you stop an argument between two deaf people? Switch off the lights.
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!
Yo mama so fat, she fell off the judgement room and broke the 7 layers of hell.
What do you call an inexpensive circumcision? A rip-off.
Why'd the girl fall off the swing?
'Cause she had no arms.
Knock, knock!! Who's there?
Not the girl.
If you jump off a building and yell "parkour," how can they tell that it was intentional? T'was a failed stunt.
If your uncle Jack needed help getting off of a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?
What do you call a group of emos about to jump off a bridge? Suicide Squad.
