Worst Jokes Ever
I don’t call it special ED, I call it mixed vegetables.
So there's a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says, "Step on a crack and you break your mother's back." The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother's back breaking.
The little girl's father looks in terror, she then says, "Step on a line and you break your father's spine." The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out "OW MY SPINE!" The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
Why did the farmer's wife chase the chickens out of the yard?
'Cause they were using fowl language!
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?
A crab apple!
We're skipping April Fools' Day this year. The biggest joke is already sitting in office running our country.
I had to share a table recently with a disabled man. When I asked him for the salt and pepper, he had to make two trips.
The orphanage was open in apps, but I didn’t see the home button.
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.
Kid: Your mom!
Orphan: (cries)
Why did the tomato blush?
Answer: Because it saw the salad dressing.
Mom said drugs are my enemies. God said love your enemies. What do I tell her?
What do you call a cow that lives in Africa? Moo-fasa!
Why can’t Helen Keller have kids?
Answer: She’s dead.
Can anyone talk with me? Bored...
Is anyone gay?
What do you call an orphan in Alabama?
A virgin.
My grandpa died to ligma :(
LIGMA BALLS!
Why did the man say, "I'm stuck?" Because he was...
I broke up with my ex girlfriend. Here's her number.
Sike, that's the wrong number!
ooooooooooooooooooooo
I got no joke.