New York jokes

When the C.I.A. raided Osama Bin Laden’s house, they found Steam on his computer. This means he was a gamer. He raged a little too hard and went for New York.

I'm a pilot and my boss told me to fly people to New York, so I flew them to New York and hit the towers. That was a tragic story.

What's the difference between China and New York City?

In China, the Asians ride ON the trains. In New York City, they usually end up riding UNDER them.

The best football game was the Jets against the Twin Towers.

What do Philippe Petit and New York citizens have in common?

They both walk(ed) over the Twin Towers.

When your plane heads for New York...

Why didn’t the Twin Towers like their pizza?

Cause it was plain.

You can play Jenga in two places now: New York and Miami (Chaplin Towers.) They probably have Jenga tournaments there every year.

How do you scare a lot of people in New York?

Open a mobile hotspot named "Delta Inflight Wifi."

Who are the fastest readers in the world? New Yorkers. They went through 110 stories in under 10 seconds.

I walked up to some Arabs and said "Alawakba," then here came the second tower.

How did people know the 9/11 victims had a lot of dandruff?

Their head and shoulders were all over New York City!

Why were the World Trade Center so mad? Because they ordered 3 pizzas, but 2 came in plane and 1 went to the wrong address.

The Twin Towers traded planes with Afghanistan. The only thing is Afghanistan got scammed.

You don't usually see strap-hangers carrying newspapers these days.

But one guy with the New York Times is seen getting on a crowded F Train. He notices a single seat not taken. Suspicious, he gets closer and sniffs it out. The seat is discolored but dry. Throwing caution to the winds, he removes a section from the paper and sets it down to buffer the spot from his behind. He sits down, stretches his feet and yells out: "Try sitting on your smartphones, suckers!"

Twin Towers are like genders, there used to be 2.

I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy!

What's the similarities between the New York Jets and the World Trade Center?

They both fall in September.

Orphan: Where are my parents?

God: New York City.

Orphan: But they used to live in China.

Dear Victims... äh Passengers, we are flying now from Ryadh to New York. Amazing Building... äh Amazing City. There's online, but 2000 there were two Towers... äh Restaurants. We hijack the plane... äh Hi Jack. Jack is my co-pilot, and I said hello. Don‘t scream... History Repea... äh... History never comes back, we are now flying back to the Airport. 💀