New York jokes
When the C.I.A. raided Osama Bin Laden’s house, they found Steam on his computer. This means he was a gamer. He raged a little too hard and went for New York.
I'm a pilot and my boss told me to fly people to New York, so I flew them to New York and hit the towers. That was a tragic story.
What's the difference between China and New York City?
In China, the Asians ride ON the trains. In New York City, they usually end up riding UNDER them.
When your plane heads for New York...
The best football game was the Jets against the Twin Towers.
🎵There's a star-man waiting in the sky🎵
You can play Jenga in two places now: New York and Miami (Chaplin Towers.) They probably have Jenga tournaments there every year.
How do you scare a lot of people in New York?
Open a mobile hotspot named "Delta Inflight Wifi."
What do Philippe Petit and New York citizens have in common?
They both walk(ed) over the Twin Towers.
Why didn’t the Twin Towers like their pizza?
Cause it was plain.
I walked up to some Arabs and said "Alawakba," then here came the second tower.
Who are the fastest readers in the world? New Yorkers. They went through 110 stories in under 10 seconds.
How did people know the 9/11 victims had a lot of dandruff?
Their head and shoulders were all over New York City!
The Twin Towers traded planes with Afghanistan. The only thing is Afghanistan got scammed.
Why were the World Trade Center so mad? Because they ordered 3 pizzas, but 2 came in plane and 1 went to the wrong address.
Ever since convicted New York State felon Donald John Trump has taken office, the Canada-US border has been a mess of tariffs, counter-tariffs and boycotts.
And where does it end? I just got served a salad with 500 Islands in the dressing instead of a thousand. The price was the same.
You don't usually see strap-hangers carrying newspapers these days.
But one guy with the New York Times is seen getting on a crowded F Train. He notices a single seat not taken. Suspicious, he gets closer and sniffs it out. The seat is discolored but dry. Throwing caution to the winds, he removes a section from the paper and sets it down to buffer the spot from his behind. He sits down, stretches his feet and yells out: "Try sitting on your smartphones, suckers!"
Twin Towers are like genders, there used to be 2.
Orphan: Where are my parents?
God: New York City.
Orphan: But they used to live in China.
What's the similarities between the New York Jets and the World Trade Center?
They both fall in September.
I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy!