New York jokes
What's the similarities between the New York Jets and the World Trade Center?
They both fall in September.
I just watched a 9/11 documentary on a plane. Man next to me said, "You know we're going to New York, right?" I told him I just wanna know what I got into.
What is the state of California best for? Screwing everything up!
What is the state of Florida for? Rednecks for days!
What is the state of Texas for? Guns!
What is the state of Utah for? Mormons and Pligs baby! (I hate all of the religious stuff!)
What is the state of Idaho for? Calling other people Ho's, mostly!
What is the state of Nevada for? Ever heard of gambling?
What is the state of Delaware for? Literally anything that isn't exciting!
What is the state of New York for? In my state of mind, it's a song! (If you don't get this one, look up the song of New York State of Mind)
Look, I'm innocent. I was just going on vacation in NY, but my co-pilot said: "Hit it with your best shot."
I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy!
A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren't that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."
The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."
The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."
And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."
The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them.
The guy from France said, "For France!" And drank the poison and died.
The man from Britain said, "Long live the queen!" And shot himself and died.
And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, "Make a canoe out of this, you fuckers!"
What's the difference between China and New York City?
In China, the Asians ride ON the trains. In New York City, they usually end up riding UNDER them.
My dad is Al-Qaeda, and he even took a plane trip to New York in 2001.
Did you hear about the tourist that came to New York? Good, because they were a terrorist... When they were asked why they were traveling, they just mispronounced it.
I walked up to some Arabs and said "Alawakba," then here came the second tower.
Where are you not allowed to go trick or treating as a ghost?
Harlem, New York.
You: "Captain, where is this plane going?"
Captain: "New York, 175 Greenwich Street."
All aboard the Magic School Bus! We are going to New York. The second tower has been hit.
The Trump family are flying from New York to DC when Donald looks down on the cities below.
Trump: "I think I’ll throw a $1000 bill out the window and make some American happy."
Melania: "Oh honey, why not throw ten $100 bills out the window and make ten Americans happy?"
Ivanka: "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out the window and make 100 people happy."
Pilot: "Why don’t you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"
What pizza did the Twin Towers order?
A plain one.
Why are Americans so bad at chess?
Because they lost two towers.
What's Al-Qaeda's favorite sports team?
The New York Jets.
The Twin Towers traded planes with Afghanistan. The only thing is Afghanistan got scammed.
How did people know the 9/11 victims had a lot of dandruff?
Their head and shoulders were all over New York City!
What’s New York’s favorite game?
2001 flight simulator.