Why do orphans never get a car?
Because their parents need to buy them one.
Need Jokes
Why does Sans say "I got a bone to pick with you?"
Because he needs to pick your balls.
I'm black, and I have a dying family in my basement that hasn't eaten in 2 weeks. They need help.
Btw, it's a joke lol.
doctor: you need to eat healthy.
me: no.
doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after I suggested it died.
me: oh my goodness.
doctor: in a plane crash.
me: that sounds unrelated.
doctor: I'm the one that crashed it. Do not disobey me!
I was an orphan as a kid, but I have never had a bitch, so I asked this cheerleader to homecoming, and she said, "Mofo, you are only coming to hoco because you need a home to go to!"
Your mom's so fat, she doesn’t need internet, she’s already world wide.
What do you call an animal in space? Just death because you need a spacesuit.
So, a few hours ago my friend said I need to CUT it out with the s/h jokes... like... it's really not that deep?
We need to stop making orphan jokes like this because they aren’t mean enough. We need more cruel jokes.
Your hairline is so far back I need binoculars to see it!
Best way to trick your friends:
A brick falls out of a plane.
How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.
The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.
Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.
She needs a flat surface cleaner.
Why do people play soccer?
Because people need to kick harder to win a parent.
An orphan goes into a bar, and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, you need parent permission to enter."
Why are Putin and Zelensky neighbors?
Apparently, a big dick needs a great set of balls next to it.
I bought myself the life-sized Jesus painting off of Amazon, and they had 4 nails within the pack. All I needed was 1.
This is rifle. ▄【デc̷a̷t̷══━一 He needs help being spread across this website. Copy this message and paste it on any joke upon this website. Spread and save rifle.
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
What does a baby computer call his father? Data!
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”
A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."
Why can't weapons play baseball?
Because they need to get to home base.
