Need

Need jokes

Mama

  • Yo mama so fat, when she got on the scale it said, “I need your weight, not your phone number.”

    Hairline

  • Your hairline's so far back, you need binoculars to see it.

    Man, your hairline is so far back, archaeologists couldn't find it.

    Baby

  • I'm just a prom night dumpster baby I got no mam or dad. Prom night dumpster baby My story isn't long, but boy, it's awfully sad. Although I came from a hole (Although I came from a hole) I'm singin' right from the soul (I'm singin' right from the soul)

    My fanny needs a blanket And somebody to spank it I miss my mam But she's at the prom So I'm prom night dumpster baby Prom night dumpster baby

    And I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) Hahaha, I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll)

  • 2
  • Vegetable

  • In the hospital, they need to keep the disabled patients' rooms cooler than the other patients' rooms.

    Why?

    They need to keep the vegetables cool and crisp.

  • 1
  • Uncle

  • All these 9/11 jokes need to stop.

    My uncle died in 9/11. At least he died doing what he loves: flying planes.

  • 4
  • Nanny

  • A guy gives labor to a baby girl and a boy twins. The doctor said but the lady was like,

    "Ugh, why do I need my husband to be in labor and I want a girl, not a boy, just a girl!"

    The lady passed out 😵 and then found out she was in a coma. The man who was in labor died. The two babies got a nanny, an evil one. The nanny killed the babies on their first birthday.

  • 5
  • Mother

  • Mia’s mother has 5 kids: Lilly, Abby, Alexa, Mila, and.... Q: Who is last? A: Mia.

    Knock, knock. Who’s there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady, you don’t need to yodel about it!

  • 1