National jokes

There was a blind man in WWE, and the commentator said, "Watch out! Watch... Oh, he can’t see." After he was sued for national offense.

Normal people: I'm my own nationality.

Michael Jackson: Click here to change nationality.

What’s the LGBTQ national anthem?

Somewhere over the rainbow.

Abortion is becoming more and more expensive these days. So visit Ammu-nation and pick up an Armsan RS-X1 tactical shotgun. It comes with a free box of ammo and a three year warranty. Buy now, pay later.

Why did the people think Stephen Hawking was disrespectful?

'Cause he didn't stand up for the national anthem.

This joke is unavailable due to the National Period of Mourning. Please return to this page on the 19th of September.

R.I.P. Queen Elizabeth II. 1926-2022.

What is the difference between the National Organization For Carpet Munchers and the National Organization For Women?

The National Organization For Women has more experience in being a carpet muncher because they eat more pussy.

I asked an American if their national anthem was "Pumped Up Kicks."

What’s the LGBTQ national anthem?

"Somewhere Over the Rainbow" by Harold Arlen.

Hitler is a national hero, he killed Hitler... Oh wait.

NASA stands for... National Adult S3x Association.

Why was Boiling Water hired by NASA (The National Aeronautics and Space Administration) to oversee their Space division?

Because it has at least one hundred degrees.

What is a card carrying lesbian feminist?

A carpet muncher who is a card carrying member of the National Organization For Women.

Teacher: What is your least favorite holiday?

Orphan: National Forgive Your Mom And Dad Day.

Teacher: Why is that your least favorite?

Orphan: Because I don't have any parents to forgive.

Teacher: *tries to hold back* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Are you a nation leader or an email deleter?

We need to stop with all the discrimination here! I don’t discriminate! I love all races, even the bad ones, I’m a fan of all genders, even the fake ones, and am a fan of all nationalities, even the alien kinds.

How are Stephen Hawking and Kaepernick so much alike? They both don’t stand for the national anthem.

Information has been leaked from government sources. When the current lock-up ends, the holder of the nation's purse, Fishi Rucksack, will launch a new initiative.

This will be to help the struggling "personal services" industry and will be labelled, "Sleep out to Help out."

I guess Canada's national igloo is melting because of global warming.

USS Liberty. Never forget.

It was bombed and destroyed by the Israeli airforce. Thirty-four dead, 171 wounded. The official story says “accident,” yet an American flag was clearly visible on the ship.

Motive: An attempt to cut off our foreign intelligence on Israel? Blame the bombing on an Arab country?

Just imagine if any other nation bombed an American ship...