Mother Jokes

Little Johnny ran into the kitchen and asked his mother "Mom can little girls have babies " his mom answered "of course not" a few minutes later his mom heard him shout to his friend "it's okay we can keep playing

Muslim child to his mother "mom why is my backpack so heavy ?" Mom: "allah akbar my son allah akbar"

That poor kid, he was fine until I bought him a mothers day card for his mum. The second he saw it he burst out crying...

Mother, “Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, you’ll get kids who will be very naughty to you!” Johnny, “Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, didn’t you?” Source: http://jokesfan.com/little-johnny-jokes.html

2 boys came home for dinner late and their mother asked, "where have you boys been?" 1 of them replied with, "we were all over the neighborhood, we're mail men now." Their snobby teen sister said, "well your not real mail men, real mail men use real letters." Then 1 of the boys said, "actually we used real letters, we found a whole box of them under your bed."

Wye did the orphan sleep outside... because he gets to wake up toe mother nature

So a woman gives birth to a child and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down and starts swinging it around the room and slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go you sick bastard!”, and the doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”

My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness. Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!"

The little camel asks his mother: Mum why do we have these big humps? Because in these hump there is some water and in the hot desert we can drink. And mum. Why do we have this large fur? Because the dessert at night is so cold and then we don’t feel cold. And mum. Why do we got these big hoofs. Because the desert the sand is hot and the hoofs save us from the hot sand. But mum. What the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?

Mother Nature deserves a traffic ticket. Summer is speeding by way too fast. 🤣🤣🤣

You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father's son and your father's father, you're your own grandpa!

Pornhub suggesting me MILF on mother's day....

Today I got a lecture from my mother, and congratulated her. Why? Because she managed not to damage me in a physical fashion.

Teacher- "I'll call your mother" Orphan- "go on, see if she picks up

My mum told me to stop telling the suicidal jokes. I replied with: "Don't worry, suicide would be the last thing I'd do."

I told my new girlfriend that my mother is deaf...

So she would have to speak loudly and slowly.

I told my mother that my new girlfriend is disabled. Now we wait.