What was stephan Hawkins last words\windows10shutting down
Daughter: Mommy?
Mom: Hey
Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make sour patch kids?
Mom: They don’t use kids to make sour patch kids
Daughter: Oh that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...
“Dude come here and see a rabbit!”
“Ok!”
“Are u ok man?”
“Yeah I’m fine”
“Dude pull your pants back up!
What's My Favorite Thing About My Grandpa?
His life insurance...
Why did Yoda go to jail for rape?
He doesn't get consent he just uses the force.
Where did daddy cum in the bed... everywhere
Look over there i say to a man .... he was blind /ratio /bozo /ratio
I was gardening and found a chest full of blood... i forgot i was in the cemetery
what do Nemo and my dad have in common?
they both can't be found
Everyone's had a mind-blowing day before, just ask JFK.
What do you call a bunch of Muslims in a bath?
A bath bomb.
I’ve got a joke about Alzheimers. Um. Oh no. I can’t actually remember it.
The kid with a gun walked into my class room and fucking shot the teacher. He pointed the gun at me and asked,
"What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey at least he gets free food.
When is a right time to dance on a body? If it is under the floorboards
If i had 10 dyno nuggies and Jamal tried to take one i would have ten dyno nuggies and Jamal's head
My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.
I always think that percussions are golden but cheeks
How do you know someone is going to die? he can't stop coughing. (coffin)
what does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant ? "Can i have a bodybag ?"
Why was the broom late because it had oversleep
