why can't orphans watch PG? they don't have any parental guidance
Girl: "Hey, why don't you come over?"
Guy: "I can't. Cops are looking for me, they say I killed 2 people."
Girl: "C'mon, my parents aren't home."
Guy: "About that..."
What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person?
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
What's the difference between a grape, an apple, and an arm? You don't slice a grape.
Don't say your life is a joke because jokes have meaning.
I don't call it suicide. I call it population control
I cannot moderate myself at all. It's either I don't take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions decisions...
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
My mom ask stop making joke about suicide I answer- don’t worry ...I stop soon
Dark jokes are like water some people just don't get it
When meeting her parents don't require you to leave the house
Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar? They don't have Father's or Mother's Day.
"Rehab's for quitters and I don't give up."
My friend got mad when he caught me smelling his sister's panties. I don't know why he was mad, maybe because she was wearimg them, or because his whole family was watching. Either way it made the funeral a bit awkward.
me: have you ever went sky diving friend:No me:Well don't it sucks friend:Why me:They gave me a parachute and I lived
Why don’t orphans work as computer repair technicians? Because they can’t find the motherboard.
Brojobs is like air It's not important until you don't have any
Me: Mom, I'm tired.
Mom: "Then go to sleep."
Me: No, you don't understand-
Want to know why parents don't get school shooting jokes? Because they are aimed at a younger audience.
people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don't like going to school
Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey
Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born
