There was a kidnapping at school.
Don't worry, he woke up.
If you don't like my suicidal jokes, sorry man, didn't know it cut that deep.
Why would a vegetarian never moan during sex?
They don't wanna admit that a piece of meat made them happy.
I don't think I'm allergic to this.
Riddles not jokes.
What has 4 legs but cannot walk?
What has bark but no bite?
There's a one-story house in which everything is orange. Orange walls, orange doors, orange furniture. What color are the stairs?
What has holes but can carry water?
What is in front of you, but cannot be seen?
What is something you have inside you that is pink, but cannot be seen?
What can you catch but not throw?
And last one:
What can rule, but not command?
Tell me the answers in the comments.
Like 90% of this was from this link: https://parade.com/947956/parade/riddles/
One more thing: Don't google it or search it up, use your brain to answer these.
Why can't orphans watch PG?
They don't have any parental guidance.
Why You should never poop on the floor in an apple store? Because they don`t have windows. 🤢 🤣
A guy and a woman are walking into a forest. The woman says she is lonely. The guy then says, "Don't worry, there will be a third person in a little while."
me: what did the twin say to the other twin
friend: I don ́t know me: I ́ll fall with you
Being asked for advice after a failed suicide attempt:
"What advice do you have for people out there?"
As a suicide professional, don't try this at home.
Q: What did the ocean say to the boy?
A: Nothing! Oceans don't talk, silly!
like my daddy to bad you don ́t have one
The baby water bottle said to the mommy water bottle, "Mommy, I lost my teddy bear." The mommy water bottle said, "Why don't you RECAP on what you said?"
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
My teacher said, "Words don't hurt!"
So I threw my dictionary at her.
"Um, honey, I'm glad you're done, but um, WHO KICKED OUR BABY'S ASS?! I'M PRETTY SURE FACES DON'T BEND THAT WAY!!"
Why don't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Me: Sister, stop stealing my stuff or I will make you feel bad.
Sister: No, I won't stop.
Me: Fine, I'm telling the world what you did.
Sister: What? You will see when I post it.
Sister: WHY DID YOU TELL THEM I PEED ON SANTA CLAUS WHEN I WAS 12 YEARS OLD?
Me: BECAUSE YOU DON ́T HAVE A LIFE.
Tails: Hey, Sonic, do you need payback? Oh, you are not a fat hedgehog, you are a snail.
Sonic: But I'm a fat snail because Dr. Eggman turned me into a snail.
Tails: I don't trust you, fat snail.
Son, what is 1 plus 1?
Dad, I don't know.
Son, it is 2.
Dad, oh, I was gonna say 2.
