Men jokes
Two boys came home for dinner late, and their mother asked, "Where have you boys been?" One of them replied with, "We were all over the neighborhood, we're mailmen now." Their snobby teen sister said, "Well, you're not real mailmen, real mailmen use real letters." Then one of the boys said, "Actually, we used real letters, we found a whole box of them under your bed."
*bowl of dark grapes*
Friend 1: I like my grapes how I like my men.
Friend 2: Black? Good one.
Friend 1: 21 at a time.
Tyler only has a kid because they don't make condoms the size of Lego Men.
I have more cum in one testicle than you have in your whole penis.
You can laugh at how men are stupid. But remember their favorite thing.
It starts with "M" and ends with "arriage".
If you guessed "Marriage" you're stupid. It's miscarriage and don't forget it. The joke never gets old to him. Just like the baby.
Men wake up with a boner.
Women wake up yawning.
Coincidence?
I went to the park full of black men. I ended up fucking 'em all.
Why did the Polish Roman Catholic priest remove zippers from the pants of gay men in the LGBT community?
Because he lost his key to his house and he was desperate to get back inside of his house and he thought that one of keys to their zippers would be able to unlock the door of his house.
What do you call two men fucking? My dad and I. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Why can’t trans men enjoy chocolate?
It uses Hershey pronouns.
Blondes like their men how they like their rice: brown, 500 at a time, and all in her bowl.
What does a mother fear most?
Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.
Did you hear about the German girl being raped by 10 men? She shouted, "nein, nein," so one of them left.
What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?
Both are lying when they say "I'm a real boy."
(I'm a trans man myself lol)
Whoever said men will f**k anything that moves is *dead* wrong.
Three men are traveling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while, but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, they suddenly stumble across a tent, and inside are three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny, too, so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince, and these three women were his wives, so he is very angry when he arrives an hour later and sees three strangers having sex with his wives. He tells the three men he will chop off their penises as punishment, in some way relating to their job. He asks the first man what his job is:
The guy says, "I'm a fireman."
The prince says, "Then we'll burn your dick off!"
The second guy says, "I'm an employee at the shooting range."
The prince says, "Then we'll shoot your dick off!"
The third guy smiles and says, "I'm a lollipop salesman."
Manly men go to strip clubs. JD Vance goes to IKEA.
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!
How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?
A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.