New Can Memes - Page 5 - Worst Jokes Ever

It works, my brother has never slept better

DID YOU KNOW?
IF YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH FOR
A LONG TIME YOU CAN SLEEP FOREVER

so true

"Hey, can I copy your homework?"
"Sure, just make it look diffrerent so that
it doesn't look like you just copied it."
"Sure thing."

Oop- get called out

shweta
@selfluvnbbg
what do boys even find attractive
about boobs, they are literally
balls of fat on my chest. IF YOU
CAN LOVE ME FOR THE FAT ON
MY CHEST WHY CANT YOU
LOVE ME FOR THE FAT ON MY
STOMACH YOU PIECE OF SHIT
8:24 AM 3/06/19
>

Real tho

Any
room
@raccoon villay
can be a
panie
room if
you just
give me
a second

Wade must be the fucking healthiest one here

WTF SEX FACTS#
Having sex once a week can
improve your immune system by
30%.

Comment if you can relate🤌

ME: *SNEAKING OUT WITH MY SISTER*
MY SISTER: *STUBS HER TOE*
ME
MY SISTER
made with mematic

NO PAPERS CAN CHANGE MY FUTURE!

A person wearing a white coat and sunglasses with hearts on them is smiling at the viewer, holding a paper. The text overlay reads, "The Doctor with the C@ncer report:" and below the image, "GUYS PAPER CANT CHANGE MY FUTUR-...".

real.

A man is wearing glasses with one lens that is fully black. Above the man is the text "Her: goo goo gaga"

The image shows text overlayed on a blue background featuring a video game character. The text reads: "I think Fortnite should add a pregnant female skin. Every kill she gets she slowly gives birth. When in water blood comes out. At 10 kills she gives birth and the baby can be your pet. Thoughts? Fortnite should hire me yo."

💡 idea. Start a confidential organization that only recruits via invite. Stockpile heavy duty weapons in an si when the time comes we can defend America from any domestic threat. just a silly idea

The image shows a painting of the founding fathers signing a document above a US flag, and an assault rifle. Text on the image reads: "2nd Amendment has nothing to do with hunting or home defense. It's about defending our freedom from oppressive government."

Two comments from the same user. The first comment posted 1 day ago says, "can people stop begging for followers, it's cringe." The second comment posted 2 months ago says, "Follow me or you are gay."

@BreezyCarter
Hubby likes shoving soft boiled eggs
up my vagina (I can hold 3) and then I
squat down and lay the eggs like a hen
and hubby will eat them coated with my
juices →

A box of Case-o's cereal with a picture of a person giving a thumbs up. The cereal is said to be the finest cereal and that Twitch Bits can get you. It is made with real honey and can help lower cholesterol as part of a heart healthy diet.

A yellow emoji with wide eyes, exaggerated eyelashes, and a large, open mouth is holding a fist to its mouth. The text above reads, "Love, that's not the coughing emoji. Edited to add: as of this morning (1st April), Tanunda is now doing a drive through. You can just explain your symptoms, and drive through and get tested - no appointment needed for this. As for the walk in clinic at the back of the hospital - this is STILL operating and STILL requires you to make an appointment. Thanks everyone! Hi everyone. A member wanted me to update you on the Corona Virus Health Testing Station set up at Tanunda Hospital. Please don't just roll up, as y..."

A person is laying face down on a white surface. The character Plankton from the cartoon "Spongebob Squarepants" is standing on top of the person's back and "massaging" their lower back. Text above the picture reads: "Baby can you give me an upper back massage" Me:

Would make any day better. If you don’t understand this then research “shaiden rouge.” She is a scientist who explains how this could improve somebody’s mental state.

A collage with two images. On the left, a woman is putting her hair up in a ponytail from a close-up. On the right, there is a woman putting her hair up in a ponytail, in two different images. Text on the top says: "when your man is having a rough day and says nothing can fix it."

A woman's face is covered in white fluid. The text says "If a girl gives you this look, it means she might have a crush on you. You can tell by the slight angle of her smile."

Just something wholesome to help you recover from whatever you just saw.

The image is a six-panel cartoon depicting a couple sitting at a desk with a laptop. In the first panel, the woman is asking the man for help. The man then helps her. Then the woman asks him to come closer again. Finally, the man hugs her while she is using her laptop. The text bubbles say: "CAN YOU HELP ME WITH THIS?", "HERE... DONE!", "CAN YOU COME HERE AGAIN?" and "BUT THERE'S NOTHING WRONG."

Would be funny but I’d rather not get beat to death.

The image shows a text conversation followed by two close-up photos of animals. The text reads: "Me: *having dinner at her house*. Her: can you pass the salt daddy? Me and her father reaching out for the salt." The animals are a dog looking slightly surprised on the left and a cat looking innocently on the right.

An unpleasant pause.

Two people are looking at each other. Text above them reads: "When the show on Netflix is actually good". Text on the bottom of the image reads: "[exhales] The head can wait."