So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.
We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.
Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.
Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?
Who’s better, Bird or Magic?
Please welcome Mozart's The Magic Flute...
In A minor.
I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.
What is a dirty minded Harry Potter fan's favorite spell before the deed? Dickus Embigus!
What goes cackle, cackle, *bonk*?
A witch laughing its head off.
Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you just finish me off already?
To all those who say this is a joke, it isn't. It's a core of humor and magic. It's a part of humor we can keep. Like if you agree.
I was doing a magic show. I tried to make a bunny disappear, but it didn’t work.
I walked outside in shame. I looked up and realised the towers had disappeared!!!!
Everything is now so expensive in Africa that witches don’t serve food in dreams again. Am I lying? Okay, when last did you eat in your dreams?
If the genie from Aladdin was here, my three wishes would be for you to die, your kids to have a miserable life, and for everyone you love to die.
How do you get into Hogwarts? Through the Dumble Door.
Is your dad a magician?
Because he magically disappeared.
What did the magician do as a trick in his show?
Make your doubts about magic... DISAPPEAR!
Chicken on a stick with a macaroni tick.
What a magic trick, it's so bad!
Too bad, chick.
How do you get to the Hogwarts gym?
Go through the dumbbell door.
If I had a genie grant me wishes, I wouldn't wish for a million pounds. I'd just wish that every time I buy something I just have the right amount of money in my pocket at the time.
Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.
I was given an invisibility cloak by my grandfather, but it was stolen in 2013. After investigating this issue, I have come to the conclusion it was Robert Lewandisney.
That's why he was invisible in every big game since 2013. SHAME ON YOU LEWANDISNEY!