Magic

Magic jokes

Vampire

    • What's the difference between a wizard who raises the undead and a sexy vampire?

    One is a necromancer and the other is a neck romancer.

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    • Harry Potter

    • Hey girl, do you like Harry Potter?

    Because I want to wingardium leviosa up that skirt, alohamora those legs open, and aqua erupto inside of your leaky cauldron.

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    • Dream

    • Ernie and Burt were camping in the woods, when they woke up Burt asked Ernie "how did you sleep?" Ernie replied with "I slept amazing! I had a great dream that I was in a magic candy world and was sucking the most tastiest lollipop I'd ever tasted in my life."

    Burt replied with "Good to hear, I slept amazing too. I had a dream that I was in heaven surrounded by angels, and one of them was giving me a blow job."

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    • Harry Potter

    • So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.

    We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.

    Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.

    Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?

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    • Core

    • To all those who say this is a joke, it isn't. It's a core of humor and magic. It's a part of humor we can keep. Like if you agree.

    Tower

    • I was doing a magic show. I tried to make a bunny disappear, but it didn’t work.

    I walked outside in shame. I looked up and realised the towers had disappeared!!!!

    Witch

    • Everything is now so expensive in Africa that witches don’t serve food in dreams again. Am I lying? Okay, when last did you eat in your dreams?

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    • Wish

    • If the genie from Aladdin was here, my three wishes would be for you to die, your kids to have a miserable life, and for everyone you love to die.

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