Magic

Magic jokes

Hey girl, do you like Harry Potter?

Because I want to wingardium leviosa up that skirt, alohamora those legs open, and aqua erupto inside of your leaky cauldron.

Ernie and Burt were camping in the woods, when they woke up Burt asked Ernie "how did you sleep?" Ernie replied with "I slept amazing! I had a great dream that I was in a magic candy world and was sucking the most tastiest lollipop I'd ever tasted in my life."

Burt replied with "Good to hear, I slept amazing too. I had a dream that I was in heaven surrounded by angels, and one of them was giving me a blow job."

So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.

We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.

Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.

Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?

I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.

What is a dirty minded Harry Potter fan's favorite spell before the deed? Dickus Embigus!

To all those who say this is a joke, it isn't. It's a core of humor and magic. It's a part of humor we can keep. Like if you agree.

I was doing a magic show. I tried to make a bunny disappear, but it didn’t work.

I walked outside in shame. I looked up and realised the towers had disappeared!!!!

Everything is now so expensive in Africa that witches don’t serve food in dreams again. Am I lying? Okay, when last did you eat in your dreams?

If the genie from Aladdin was here, my three wishes would be for you to die, your kids to have a miserable life, and for everyone you love to die.

What did the magician do as a trick in his show?

Make your doubts about magic... DISAPPEAR!