there was a girl called Millie and she had sexy blond hair and she wanted to chase me but I told her she had to catch me first if she loves me
Roses are read romance is dead everyday i suffer from existential dread
A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine and he said to her ... "Hey baby, we should bang sometime."
My boss said she would’ve loved to meet bill Cosby as a child. I don’t get why im getting arrested, I was just making sure he dream came true
Me : “You guys wanna know a cool fact?” Friend 1 : “Yeah” Friend 2 : “Yea” Me : “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.” Friend 3 : “I love anime.” Friend 1 & 2 : “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Me : *Laughs at Friend 3*
Kid 1: I like you! Do you like me? Kid 2: No. You never asked if I love you! Kid 1: Aw, do you love me? Kid 2: No!
Girlfriend: "would still you love me if i was a figment of your imagination" my schizophrenic ass: of course i would
Why do women love wind chimes?
They vibrate
Hey girl are you a scientist?
Cause you made my thing into a baking soda volcano
roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be the dolphin, you can be the jellyfish
What has 2 legs and loves to play with little kids? The local priest.
What do lesbians love to use in art class? Scissors.
Technoblade would love it here
Why Cristiano Ronaldo loves oranges?? because they contain vitamin suiiiii
