Kid 2 jokes

Teacher: Kids, what are some things you have that make you happy? Kid 1: I have my family to make me happy. Kid 2: I have my friends to make me happy. Teacher: What about you, Sean? Sean: I have to take pills to make me happy...

Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."

Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night."

Kid 1: "As if."

Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."

Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."

Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."

So, two kids argued and insulted each other.

KID 1: "Your dad left because he didn't want you, so why don't you kill yourself?"

KID 2: "Well, your dad already killed himself because he didn't want you."

Kid 1: Guys, stop making 9/11 jokes. My dad died in 9/11.

Kid 2: Sorry, I didn't know.

Kid 1: He was the best fighter pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.

Kid #1: You're adopted.

Kid #2: At least they wanted me.

Kid #1: Did your real parents want you?

A father is talking to his three kids.

Kid 1: Why is my name Rose?

Dad: Because when you were a kid, a rose fell on your head.

Kid 2: Why is my name Lily?

Dad: Because a lily fell on your head when you were a baby.

Kid 3: Auughhghhhggghhh!

Dad: Oh hey, Brick.

(Kids Doing A Science Project.) Kid 1: Did you bring Uranus?

Kid 2: Never leave home without it.

Kid 1: "It's a bird!"

Kid 2: "It's a plane!"

Me: "It's a terrorist!"

Kid 1: I like you! Do you like me?

Kid 2: No. You never asked if I love you!

Kid 1: Aw, do you love me?

Kid 2: No!

Kid 1: Words can't describe how ugly you are.

Kid 2: Words can describe how beautiful you are.

Kid 1: Aw, thanks!

Kid 2: But numbers can. 0/10

Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?

Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.

Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.

Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.

Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.

Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?

Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?

Kid: Why is Pluto a dwarf planet?

Kid 2: Why?

Kid: 'Cause it's as short as your dick.

Kid 1: Do you know Candace?

Kid 2: Candace who?

Kid 1: Candace dick fit in your mouth!

Average Kid: brings mp3 to school.

Rich Kid: Brings mp4 to school.

Quiet Kid: Brings an mp5.

You see a kid on the side of the street crying, so you go up to them and say, "Where are your parents?" The kid says, "What are parents?"

When you're the only one nice to the quiet kid.

Kid: "I like you... don't go to school tomorrow."

The quiet kid starts playing "Pumped Up Kicks" in the parking lot before school.

One time, the quiet kid hacked the speakers in a school. Next thing you know, "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster The People starts playing.