Why did the Columbine High School basketball team lose the big game?
Because they lost their two best shooters...
What is 6" long, bright red, and your wife cries when you feed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
I'll always remember my Dad's last words before he died on 9/11...
Allahu Akbar!
Can't wait for the orphans to have their family reunion! Wait...
A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried, he quickly rushed there.
He sat down in front of their graves and prayed, "I want to see your face again, mommy..." A miracle happened; his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.
The boy cried then said, "I want to see you too, dad." He looked at his father's grave, but nothing happened.
Suddenly, a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked, "Were you looking for me?"
I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don't understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what's so sad?" and she said "What do you think was running through these kid's heads before they died?" I replied "probably a bullet". She gasped and said "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent's heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."
Very sad today. Found my pet mouse "Elvis" dead this morning. He was caught in a trap.
Where did Suzy go after getting lost on a minefield?
"Everywhere."
What happens when an emo kid loses a Kahoot? He gets a 25 kill streak.
What's red, 6 inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry when I feed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
My dad was a roof cleaner and I'm dedicating this to him, so dad, if you're up there!
Why did the family move away?
Because they lost their son.
Mama Mia's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce.
What do women have on an empty stomach? A miscarriage.
Friend 1: I HATE YOU!
Friend 2: *cries* b-but i-i didn't s-say that!!
Friend 3: *writes on paper with pencil cuz is so bored*
Me: *points at pencil lead* NOW NOW NOW THIS HAS *LEAD* TO SOME SERIOUS FRIENDSHIP LOSS! Plz shut up.
All my friends: *groan at horrible pun*
My gun is like my house, used to be full, now it's empty.
Son: Dad? Why is mommy no longer with us?
Dad: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Son: Why?
Dad: To get to the other side, but your mother only made it about halfway.
So an orphan was crying in a corner in the dark. Then a man came over and asked, "Why are you crying?"
Then said, "Do you want me to get your parents?"
A miscarriage always brings the child out in me.
If you are going to make fun of someone, make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Double whammy.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old.
