New Little Jokes - Page 11 - Worst Jokes Ever

A Russian, a Brit, and a terrorist are in an air balloon.

First, the Russian says, "I dare to throw a stone down!" So he does that, but the others don't seem to be impressed. So the Brit says, "I dare to throw a brick down!" So again he does that, the Russian is impressed, but the terrorist laughs and says, "I dare to throw a bomb down!" So he does that and everybody can't believe what they have just seen. So a bit further, they land, and a shocked and afraid little boy comes running up to them. So they ask what happened, on which the little boy said, "I farted and my school exploded."

Little Jonny fucked his mum.

Why couldn't the pony sing a song?

He was a little horse.

You look like a cow went through puberty, put the milk before the cereal, then ate it with a fork with a little sprinkle of steak.

Why does Michael Jackson like Chef Boyardee? He likes the little balls.

Do midgets still start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?

A 9-year-old girl lies on a hospital bed struggling to breathe as she waits for the doctor to come.

The doctor finally comes, and the little girl can breathe much easier after he pulls his cock out of her mouth.

Little Johnny has no arms. Knock, knock, who's there?

Not Johnny.

"Proud Boys," more like insecure little bitches!

You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.

Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.

But at least lemonade came out!

Why does Donald Trump love little boys? Because his hands look massive when he’s holding their tiny little prepubescent cocks.

Given that it's a major guarantee that little boys' underwear will be half off at Kmart thanks to the blue light specials, now you know why Michael Jackson likes to loiter around the store all day long.

Where did little billy go when he was stuck in a minefield... everywhere.

That joke was pretty dark, but it got pretty light for a second.

What's blue and bad for your teeth?

A green brick that's painted blue after the original paint dries (it takes a little while to dry), but after it dries you can paint it and then it will be green. If the brick is green it is called a green brick as it is green (not blue anymore) and it hurts your teeth because brick is a hard material that can damage the bones in your mouth (also known as your teeth).

What did John say to little Timmy? Happy Disable day!

I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.

Little Johnny was watching TV when he heard the TV say "bitch" and "bastard." He went over to his dad and said, "What is a bitch and bastard?" His dad looked at him surprised and said, "A bitch is a female, a bastard is a mailman." Johnny went back to the TV and heard them say "ass" and "shit," so he goes back to his dad and asks, "What shit and ass mean?" His dad says, "A shit is shaving cream like what I'm putting on my face, and ass is a coat, why don't you bug your mom?" Johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say "fuck," so Johnny goes over to his mom and says to her, "What does fuck mean, mom?" She looks over at him and says, "Fuck means carving, like what I'm doing to this turkey!" A few minutes later, Johnny hears a knock on the door. He walks over and answers it. He then says, "Welcome bitch and bastard, may I take your ass?" The people, looking horrified, then ask where his parents are. Johnny responds with, "My dad is putting shit on his face and my mom is fucking the turkey!"

Yo, little sister, pussy taste so GOOD on my TONGUE!

The Good Old Days.

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.