My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire
Lit Jokes
"Did you go to the light show?"
"Yeah, it was lit."
So Santa fell down the chimney, but it was a lit chimney...his name's no longer Santa. It's Crisp Cringle. Pls send help :)
I got my husband a fridge for his birthday. His face lit up when he opened it.
I got suspended at school today. I lit a kid's wheelchair on fire and called him "Hot Wheels."
My friend, you lit my mind: that's what the lighter said to my thighs.
Wacko Jacko bleached his skin, lit his head on fire, slept in a chamber, abused his pet monkey, built an amusement park in his own backyard, had toys as decor for his home, slept with little boys, raped little boys. Jacko was Florida Man before Florida Man.
Did you hear about the light bulb party? Yeah, it was pretty lit!
Friend: "UR LIT BRO!!"
Me: "That's what my sleeve said to my arm."
A missionary was caught by cannibals. He was tied up and thrown into a big pot. The cannibals were chopping up vegetables and throwing them into the pot with the missionary. When they lit the fire under the pot, the missionary said, "You can't stew me. I'm a friar."
Chuck Norris lit a campfire, and humans saw the sun for the first time.
F*ck me!
My doctor said I need to lose calories, so I got a piece of paper, wrote "calories," and lit it on fire.
Yesterday I went to a lightbulb party, and it was lit.
Joke.
I lit a retirement home on fire so that all the seniors can be cremated for free.
What did the cow say to your mom?
Hello.
Ok, ok, ooh, I'm so lit right now.
Your life is so boring, why you sleepin' on me? I can hear you snorin'. Aye, I'm so lit right now, my diamonds on that lit lit. Why don't you just get up? Aye, yeah, get him 'cause I'm awake, boy. Ooh, I'm so lit right now, your life is so boring, why you sleepin' on me? I can hear you snorin'. Aye, I'm so lit right now, my diamonds on that lit lit. Why don't you just get up? Aye, yeah, get him 'cause I'm awake, boy. Ok, ok, ooh, I'm so lit right now, your life is so boring, why you sleepin' on me? I can hear you snorin'. Aye, I'm so lit right now, my diamonds on that lit lit. Why don't you just get up? Aye, yeah, get him 'cause I'm awake, boy.
Once we went to a light bulb party last night, YO it was freakin lit.
Why is the sun lit?
Because it has much solar.