My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire

“did you go to the light show?”

“Yeah it was lit”

did you hear about the light bulb party— yeah it was pretty lit!

A missionary was caught by cannibals. we was tied up and thrown into a big pot. The cannibals were chopping up vegetables and throwing them into the pot with the missionary. When they lit the fire under the pot, the missionary said, “You can’t stew me. I’m a friar.”

So Santa fell down the chimney but it was a lit chimney…his names no longer Santa. It’s crisp cringle. Pls send help :).

Fu ck me

Yesterday I went to a lightbulb party.and it was lit

Chuck Norris lit a campfire and humans saw the sun for the first time.


once we went to a light bulb party last night , YO it was freakin lit.

what did the cow say to ur mom


Why is the sun lit. Because is has much solar

IN our history class we were on our China unit and learning a little about gunpowder. And I said “WOAH THAT’S LIT!”


MY name is Justin I like boys hit me up?

During the election campaign of 2012 we heard about Obama but we fought they said Osama. So I told my friend grab his gun and lets have some fun. So during one of Obama’s campaign we both shot him to death, which lasted a while. Then my friend said “lets go get piz drunk at Mavericks bar”. Then on TV they talked about Obama death and everybody but 2 guys cheered. Then guess what, we loaded our guns and lit those 2 guys up like we did to Obama.

I don’t ever really bother women, but when I do I usually just want to talk, I guess since I just so happened to be a straight male that’s not a 10 or a 5 , I get shutdown so fast , I put out lit candles…like damn, I thought I hid my ring

Good said let there be light and it was lit !

Hey girl, are you a wizard? Because you cast lit in my Final Fantasy!

It looks like your face was lit on fire and someone tried to extinguish it with a hammer;)

MY name is Justin I like like dick lit me eat you out like?

Fuck off