Combustion jokes

Why did the little girl's ice cream melt?

She was on fire.

The more I light my lighter, the lighter my lighter gets, until it's too light to light.

If white people turn black when they char, what happens to the black ones?

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and said, "Hot Wheels!"

What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?

Answer: fire.

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite type of car on fire? Hot wheels.

Like if you know what ashes are.

I hate these double standards.

If you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good job". If you do it at home you're "destroying evidence".

Cremation,

The last chance for a smoking hot body.

I googled "How to start a wildfire." I got 48,500 matches.

Give a man a match, he'll be warm for a few hours. Light him on fire, he'll be warm the rest of his life.

Ah yes, cremation. My last chance of having a smokin' hot body.