Light Bulb jokes
So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.
There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They just hold it in the socket and expect the world to revolve around them.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a bulb?
None, because they all cry in the dark.
Once we went to a light bulb party last night, YO it was freakin lit.
How many dead babies does it take to put in a new light bulb? Not thirteen, cuz my basement is still dark. Let's try fourteen.
How many Bay Street bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
In Toronto? One to hold it up and expect the entire country to revolve around them.
I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.
I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."
How many orphans does it take to screw a light bulb in there house?
None because they don't have a home.
How many Senators fans does it take to change a light bulb?
All 3 of them.
Hockey for life!
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.
How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? It takes two, but don't ask me how they get inside.
What did the lampshade say to the light bulb?
You brighten my day.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
One to change the bulb and one to suck my dick.
How many oz of water does it take to screw a light bulb?
None, also what the heck are you doing with water when people in Africa don’t have any?
How many crack heads does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, there is no electricity.
How many prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they just put the light bulb up their pussy and ask you to pay.
How many electrical engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. That is the electrician's job. I am a specialist.
How many software engineers?
Again, none. It's a hardware problem.
How many computer programmers to change a light bulb?
Two, but one resigns halfway through the project.
How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously not 8, because it's still dark in my basement.
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But you need 5000 Soviet troops in case he goes on strike!