Light Bulb jokes
Once we went to a light bulb party last night, YO it was freakin lit.
What’s the relationship between a pedophile and a light bulb? They're both meant for dark rooms.
How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to light up the room with space lasers so the other can see, and one to screw it in.
What's the difference between a pregnant girl and a light bulb?
... You can unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a pregnant girl.
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb?
To get to the other side.
I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.
I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But you need 5000 Soviet troops in case he goes on strike!
What did the lampshade say to the light bulb?
You brighten my day.
How many Lawrence Welk fans does it take to change a light bulb?
"A one, and ah two."
How many bisexuals does it take to change a light bulb?
Depends, are you AC or DC? However many turn you on.
How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to pull a permit, one to schedule the inspector, and one to change the bulb.
How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
Four—one to hold the bulb and three to try to remember the combination.
How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They wait for it to turn itself in.
How many audio engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
One, two. One, TWO. One, two. One, two.
How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb?
One (flips lens) or two? One (flips another lens) or two?
How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but they're very tiny and we're not sure how they got in there.
How many Bay Street bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
In Toronto? One to hold it up and expect the entire country to revolve around them.
How many poets does it take to change a light bulb?
One to curse the darkness, one to light a candle.
How many electrical engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. That is the electrician's job. I am a specialist.
How many software engineers?
Again, none. It's a hardware problem.
How many computer programmers to change a light bulb?
Two, but one resigns halfway through the project.
How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb?