Light Bulb jokes
How many Quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb?
4!
One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he's standing on, and one to sing "Alouette, gentille alouette!"
What’s the relationship between a pedophile and a light bulb? They're both meant for dark rooms.
How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
More than 10, since my basement's still dark.
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they're so DARN STUPID!!!!
How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to light up the room with space lasers so the other can see, and one to screw it in.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Depends on how high your ceiling is.
How many altar boys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on how dark the priests' basement is.
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? -- One. They are efficient and don't have humor.
How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb?
One (flips lens) or two? One (flips another lens) or two?
How many police officers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just beat the room for it being black.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's a silly question. Feminists can't change anything.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
102, if you have some alive ones.
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Wanna go ride a bike?
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
These people who are offended by rape jokes don’t even understand humor. They think of humor as like a happy thing because humor makes us laugh and laughter makes us happy, but most of the jokes that we laugh at are filled with pain and suffering. If I take a joke like, how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. Now that joke isn’t making light of the fact that people have marched in the civil rights movement and people have been racially discriminated against. It’s not making light of those, what it’s doing is it’s taking that pain and suffering and making you transcend it for a moment, and showing the absurdity of the human mind, and that is important. Humor at its best takes the bad things in this world that are painful and hard to deal with and makes it something funny.
And before you go in the comments and say I agree with rape, I don’t. I hope everybody who rapes someone to have their dick cut off. My little sister got fucking raped when she was six, and the guy is lucky he got caught by the police and not me, cause if I caught I would have fucking killed him, so I don’t agree with rape, but I still think rape jokes should still not be taken so seriously!
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb?
To get to the other side.
How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?
About one third less than for a regular bulb.
How many bisexuals does it take to change a light bulb?
Depends, are you AC or DC? However many turn you on.
How many Lawrence Welk fans does it take to change a light bulb?
"A one, and ah two."