Life Support jokes
22. Give a man a match, and he鈥檒l be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
When you unplug the charger to charge your phone, but you realize it was plugged into your grandpa's life support:
My mom said I rely on my devices too much, so I unplugged her life support.
1. If being ugly was a crime, you would have a life sentence.
2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships.
3. There is a tree out there giving you oxygen, and you owe that tree an apology.
4. I don鈥檛 hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.
5. When I saw your dad on the sidewalk, I didn鈥檛 laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
6. If I had powers, I would make you the dumbest person alive, but it seems life already beat me to the punch.
7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it.
8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I鈥檇 be broke.
9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting.
10. Were you born on a highway, 'cause that鈥檚 where most accidents happen?
11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya.
12. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented.
My grandpa unplugged the AC, so I unplugged his life support.
My Grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology!" I replied, "No, your generation relies too much on technology!" Then I unplugged his life support.
My grandfather says I鈥檓 too reliant on technology. I call him a hypocrite and unplug his life support. 馃槃馃槅馃敟馃憤
My mom told me to unplug all the electronics, so I unplugged my grandma's life support.
My grandfather said we rely on technology too much, so I unplugged his life support. Luckily, I remember his last words: "You little bastard!"
What's the difference between me and an old man? No one pulled my life support.
Guy: "My life is like a game, I should end it."
Guy 2: "Is it a hard life?"
Guy: "Yup"
Guy 2: "Then you can't kill yourself LOL"
Guy 3: "Hold on, I know a cheat code to finish the 'game'"
Once again, RIP Daniel Kyre, he actually died this day five years ago.
He attempted suicide Sep 16, and was in life support, till his parents made the tough decision of taking him off.
We will miss ya bud..... (cyndagoooooooo)
What is the definition of a woman?
A life support system for a vagina.
When your mum tells you to help your granny And you in plug life support.
What did my grandpa say after he kicked the bucket?
Nothing, I unplugged his life support before he said a word.
My grandpa said I'm too reliant on technology... so I screamed that he was a hypocrite and I unplugged his life support.
I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died, so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone. And it turns out he only knows Spanish, so when he kept saying, "Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida," I thought he wanted water. But when I got back with the water he was asleep, and now my phone was charged, so I translated what he said. And it was, "You unplugged my life support." That's when I called the doctor...
Good news is, I got one sick selfie!
My father said I'm too reliant on technology.
I called him a hypocrite, and unplugged his life support.
My grandfather says I鈥檓 too reliant on technology.
I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
My grandpa is an asshole. The fucker deserved to die. The son of a bitch was using his life support, and I needed to change my iPhone.
My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.