Newest Laughter Jokes - Page 10

what do you do when your man doesn't like fruit jokes?

Let the mango

So one day in 3rd grade, i was making this art piece and i was talking about my friend that was a boy that i have known for 5 years. but then, the other boy at my table named Coen Jones shouted, "NO! I"M THE ONLY BOYFRIEND YOU CAN HAVE!!!!" as soon as i heard all that, the teacher and the rest of our class was shocked while our table was just laughing there butts off, but laughed so hard, i fell out of my chair!

When i was in middle school i was on my bus and people were doin hairline jokes and i heard this guy say "Your hairline goes back to..... uhhhhhh..... 2042?

Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke and it asked me “what is the difference between a large pizza and you”one can feed a family

Wanna know something funny? Well there was this one time when my parents were talking about their marriage. Then after the wedding, they decided to make a joke and then 9 months later I was born. My birthday. (4/1/06) April 1, 2006

I gave a bling kid a gun and said it was a blow dryer

what did the chinese girl said when she had a baby? sum ting whong

Knock, knock Who’s there? Joem Joem who? Joem Ama

Why do people keep on making jokes about the twin towers? Because they go down so well

Me: Wanna hear a joke about my chin? Friend: Nah, dude. It'll be too long.

Not to be rude or anything but im not adopted my bf is and some of these are really mean because sometimes there parents give them up just because there ugly or just because of there skin color We should stop making fun of them and yes i do gigle sometimes but they can be relay hurtful sometimes

I told a joke about miscarriage to a group of women, but none of them laughed. I guess it was a bad delivery

What do you call someone who makes a joke about society?

The Joker

Knock Knock Who's there Abby Abby who Abby C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

two scientists walk into a bar, the first one says: " i'll have some H2O "

the second one says: " i'll have some H2O too " and then he died.

A women decides to have a face lift for her 50th birthday She spends $15,000 and looks sensational. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, ‘I hope you don’t mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?”.

’About 32,’ is the reply.’

‘Nope! I’m exactly 50,’ the woman says happily.<br> A little while later she goes into McDonald’s and asks the counter girl the very same question.

The girl replies, ‘I’d guess about 29.’ The woman replies with a big smile, ‘Nope, I’m 50.’

Now she’s feeling really good about herself. She stops at a candy shop on her way down the street.

She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the assistant the same burning question.

The clerk responds, ‘Oh, I’d say 30.’

Again she proudly responds, ‘I’m 50, but thank you!’

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.

He replies, ‘Lady, I’m 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra Then, and only then I can tell you EXACTLY how old you are.’

They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the better of her. She finally blurts out, ‘What the hell, go ahead.’

He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.

After a couple of minutes of this, she says, ‘Okay, okay.....How old am I?’

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, ‘Madam, you are 50.’

Stunned and amazed, the woman says, ‘That was incredible, how could you tell?’

‘I was behind you at McDonalds’.