I told a blind man to read more, so he grabbed my arm and read the whole dictionary.
Knowledge Jokes
What do the initials BIBLE stand for?
"Bullshit In Book Lacking Evidence."
Why was the ant so smart? Because it always knew the answer.
Dumb person: Wat idk mean?
Person 1: I don’t know.
Dumb one: Oh u don’t know okie I ask Googol.
Person 1: Wait idk means--
Dumb one (to Googol): WAT DOS IDK MANNN?
Googol: I don’t know.
Dumb one: OH ME GOOOD EVEN GOGLO DOESYN KNOWWW
Why do men get great ideas in bed?
'Cause they are plugged into a genius!
I got kicked out of the library because I put the woman's right book in the non-fiction section.
"If we don’t have a strategy, then the enemy will never know our strategy."
-Sun Tzu, Art of War.
"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."
Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
An orphan entered the high school for the first time. He has no knowledge of the school. He went to the secretary and asked where he shall go. The secretary then gave the orphan a schedule and said to the orphan, “Where is homeroom?” The secretary then asked which homeroom number he was assigned, and he said "1." The orphan then started to weep and said that his parents died right as he stole his first base in baseball.
I went to a book store yesterday and I saw a book that said "how to solve 50% of your problems." So I bought 2.
Sometimes orphans can't win spelling bees because they don't know how to spell "home."
The only letters in the alphabet that you know are "KFC."
How'd the skeleton know it was going to rain? He looked at the weather forecast.
It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the UW. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 800 students in the class! The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail.
1/2 hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exam booklet.
"You’re not going to have time to finish this," the professor said, as he handed the student a booklet.
"Yes, I will," replied the student. He then took a seat and began writing.
After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued writing.
1/2 hour later, the last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there.
"No, you don’t, I’m not going to accept that. It’s late." The student looked incredulous and angry. "Do you know who I am?"
"No, as a matter of fact, I don’t," replied the professor with an air of sarcasm in his voice.
"Do you know who I am?" the student asked again. "No, and I don’t care," replied the professor with an air of superiority.
"Good," replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and ran out of the room.
Why can't religion and science agree?
Because science creates skyscrapers, and religion combines with skyscrapers.
Your Mom's Favorite Book, Chapter 1: How To Cook.
Why don’t spiders go back to school?
Because they learn everything on the web.
Your hairline goes so far back my history teacher was surprised.
Follow me if you know someone smart.
"Hey, what does IDK mean?"
"I don't know."
"Okay, then I am going to ask someone else."
