Newest Kill Jokes - Page 11 - Worst Jokes Ever

saddest youtube comment :(

htf5555 2 years ago
>be 4 years ago
>at mom's house
>chilin
>she gives me a list of chores to do while her and my sister get
groceries
>tells me no ps2 until chores are done
>ehokay.jpg
>folding laundry while watching tv
>switch to news
>story says
>"Local woman and daughter killed in car accident"
>my mom and sister have died
>be 4 years later
>want taste of nostalgia
>open up ps2
>in the disc compartment there was a note
>Wiley, Wiley, Wiley, I told you not to play your ps2 before chores
are done. Well son, I love you to death and I want to cut you some
slack. You can play your game station until I come back with hugs
and kisses :) xoxo-Love Mom
>never came home
>rever got my hugs and kisses

Me: Mom, should I kill the main character in the book I'm writing to make things more interesting?

Mom: Sure, honey! What type of book are you writing?

Me: It's an autobiography.

What did hitler kill himself with? A Nein-millimeter

Who would have guessed

Patrick is legally
allowed to kill
FISHING
LICENSE
FIRST NAME: PATRICK
LAST NAME: STAR
Patrick
SIGN

One day i was texting my friend on roblox and i made her made her mad. she told me she was gonna kill me. that night she told me to meet her at the bathroom at 2 pm sharp. but she made sharp in all caps. so i went to the bathroom at pm the next day. now i know what she meant by SHARP on roblox...... she brought a knife and i was in hell by then. like for the next part!

Blue: The ocean is place where the creatures live Black: NIGHTMARES LIVE Blue:it has many pretty things and it will- Black: KILL YA TO DEATH! Especially if you are on titanic! so let that sink in. PUN INTENDED!

I WANNA STEP ON ONE OF THOSE

Q
Lego Introduces New Sharper Bricks That Instantly Kill You
When You Step On Them | Babylon Bee

ik this isnt a orphan joke but i didnt know where to say it so yh.

i threw a nut at the alergy table and screamed... YES TRIPLE KILL

How do you help a rape victim on a diet lose 7 pounds? Kill her afterwards

What’s the best way to get people to remember your birthday? Kill yourself.

Why did hitler kill himself?

He didn’t want to pay the gas bill

A boy is about to be sentenced for killing his parents. He begs the judge to spare his life. The judge asks for one good reason he should be shown any mercy. The boy replies, "I’m an orphan, your honor."

A guy gives labor to a baby girl and a boy twins the doctor said but the lady was like

The lady: ugh why do I need my husband to be in labor and I want a girl not a boy to just a girl!!!!!!!,!

The lady passed out 😵 and then found out she was in a coma the man who was in labor died the two babys got a nanny a evil one the nanny killed the babys on there first birthday

I went to a store to get milk but when I got home there was million cows waiting for milk so they killed me

Who is yourself and why do people keep telling me to kill him?

what do youuuuuuuuuuu OH F*** Y MOM IS GANNA KILL ME MY SHIT IS STUCK ON THE TOILET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF***************************************************************