Hey, did you know Paul Walker's gay?
Why do you say that?
Because he likes to wrap himself around long, old wood.
Joke Jokes
What did one butthole say to the other?
"I don't know WHAT got into me last night!"
A high school student and his best friend were rushing to class after his best friend caused them both to be late. His best friend asked, "Would you like to hear a joke?" "Sure," he replied. "What do you and your sister have in common?" "I don't know." "Because of me you're both late for your next period."
I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa.
As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of sick fuck does that?
I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!
What do you call an Indian gravedigger?
Digdeep.
My friend asked me why I know how to tie a noose.
I told them, "because I’m such a noose-ance."
What's the difference between necrophilia and a choking fetish? 15 seconds.
Grandpa: "Sonny, let me tell you something. There's only one damn thing in this whole world worse than Alzheimer's."
Boy: "What's that?"
Grandpa: "What's what?"
What is the difference between a hoe's birth Daddy and her pimp Daddy?
The first daddy plants the seed in a cunt, and the second reaps the harvest from the cunt.
Alright, so I have a few orphan jokes. I'm gonna put them all in one message.
Why can't orphans be gay? They have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans go on a field trip? Parent signature: ______
New teacher: I used to be an orphan as a kid. Students: hahaha Teacher: Is anyone missing? Students: No one, just your parents.
Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They kept calling everyone "daddy."
Why do orphans have the iPhoneX? Because it has no home button.
Q: Wanna see something funny?
A: Sure.
*bomb Florida*
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What did the traffic light say to the other?
"Hey, stop looking at me! I'm changing!"
My mom said I rely on my devices too much, so I unplugged her life support.
Why did the depressed kid cross the road?
To get hit by a car.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.
What do you call a funny chicken?
A comedi-hen!
Skeppy is the joke.
What do you call an orphan that takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
