Why do cat orphans watch sci-fi movies?
Because they won't understand what the mother ship is.
What is black and long?
A line at KFC.
Anyone can do a Michael Jackson impression. All you need is a small boy who can keep a secret.
What do you call a vagina with teeth?
A vicious cunt.
Hey girl, are you an orphan?
Oh, that’s right, I’m your daddy.
Everyone always has a special person in their life someday, but I think yours got ran over by a bus.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and called it "Hot Wheels."
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I decided to take her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
How many terrorists does it take to tile a roof?
It depends on how thin you slice them.
What is more fun than spinning a clown around on a clothes line at 100 miles an hour?
Stopping it with a pitchfork.