it's jokes

I have special needs, and I was born with it.

Why did the clock out the library?

It tocked too much!

Man and woman are having a discussion. The woman looks into the man's eyes and says, "Honey, you know how I like it when you walk up and stick it in . . . "

". . . but I love it when Bob walks up and sticks it in!"

Divorce is scheduled for next month.

Why wasn’t the cheese 🧀 happy?

It was blue 😔.

It's embarrassing when there is no toilet paper and you need to go and get one with your pants down. Luckily, the supermarket is just around the corner.

There is a new kind of jock strap; it only holds one nut. It is called a Trump supporter.

What time is it when you say no to everything? Time to get bored.

What happens when a sink on the Titanic overflows?

It sinks it.

I've just started a new business making people breathe in large amounts of helium. They all speak very highly of it.

My pregnant wife said we were gonna name the kid Digiorno. She wouldn't tell me why until she got an abortion and told me, "It's not delivery, it's Digiorno."

I wonder if the sun is going to rise every morning. Then it dawns on me.

How many times do you nut? It depends how hard you do it.

What time is it when you get a chance to take a car and drive all over?

Time to get in trouble!

What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?

Time to get outside!

What time is it when you say, "Wake up?"

It is morning.

My brothers kept annoying me.

I told them I would disembowel them if they kept it up.

It was an empty threat—right after I was done.

There was a woman sitting with me.

I had to leave until she pointed at something—it was my butt.

I was confused until it was her turn for truth or dare.

What's an orphan's favorite food? Nothing, they can't afford it.

Someone asked me if I've ever tried to kill myself. I responded, "Absolutely. A few times actually. I'm just not very good at it."

I once tried to have a family friendly conversation with a worm, but it kept its head in the dirt.