it's jokes
CEO Intrepid entrepreneur born in 1964, Jeffrey, Jeffrey Bezos.
Repeat, come on Jeffrey, you can do it, pave the way, put your back into it, tell us why, show us how, look at where you came from, look at you now.
Zuckerberg and Gates and Musk, they're the anchors, can make and sick it up there with drink their blood, come on Jeff get it! Dododoododododod
Why couldn’t the toilet paper make it across the road?
It got stuck in a crack.
A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.
For some reason, when my mom eats hot dogs, she likes to lick and suck on it first. As a son, can anyone tell me why?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
Little old lady, you don't need to yodel about it. Yodel who? Yodel who?
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had diarrhea.
What’s the difference between a bank vault and you aunt's anus?
The owner of bank vaults don’t force you to penetrate it.
So there’s this air purifier in my room, right? It’s really noisy, so I unplugged it to sleep better, and sure enough, I fell asleep faster. So I came to the conclusion: if I unplug noisy machines, people will sleep better.
It worked really well in my local hospital.
A Scouser at ground zero just after the twin towers fell asks a passer-by, "What time is it, mate?"
An American replies, "That's a mad accent, where are you from?"
The Scouser says, "Liverpool."
The American says, "Oh, what state is that in?"
The Scouser looks around and says, "About the same state as this, mate, but what time is it?"
Why did the snowman say, "Good day," to the sun?
Because it was afraid to melt away by the sun.
Girl, you are so ugly that when you look in the mirror, it shatters, more than your relationship.
What’s it called when an orphan takes a photo?
A family picture.
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they never make it home.
Why did the snowman melt?? It had a melt down! 😭😭
Why do I look nervous when I enter the church? Is it just because I'm the only one with the bomb?
Q: Why was the tower of Pisa leaning?
A: Because it has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
God: I feel like I'm forgetting something... oh no, Earth! *sees it on fire* Oh, it's fine.
People of Earth: *running and screaming*
Santen: *to God* Really?
I love telling jokes about orphans. I mean, what are they going to do about it? Tell their parents?
I asked the gym instructor,
"Can you teach me to do the splits?"
"How flexible are you?" he asked.
"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."