it's jokes
"I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered!"
Your hairline goes so far back that it looks like Will Smith slapped it.
in can re;ate to this its always going through my mind
I don't see why people these days choose their gender. There's only two, it's Nerf or nothing! (I'm just joking, I honestly don't care.)
Your hairline lookin' like it got slapped up by Will Smith.
What’s the difference between a WNBA player and a rotten apple? The apple has a chance to make it into the basket.
Whenever a woman files a rape accusation, it’s obviously fake. Even the cows at my farm are more likely, at least they aren’t flat.
Are you still a virgin?
If you do IT
With no one?
When you're in a cage But it's not real!
Being in a cage But you have the key.
Being in a cage But nobody sees you.
Being outside of a cage, but it's empty.
Living and realizing you've been born into one.
Thinking someone cared about you But turns out they're toxic as fu**.
But you can't live without them.
The cage Is you. You have the key But you don't know how to use it.
Did you hear that Rushdie has a new book? It's titled "Buddha, that Fat Fuck."
Yo life got no meaning, just like your dad when he left. Like if it's a good one.
Got a job at the library yesterday... It lasted fifteen minutes... Turns out books about women's rights don't belong in the fiction section.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away... That is... if you throw it hard enough.
Dentist: Open up, sir.
Me: So... I hate my life, my family, my sisters, my dog, my cat, and I tried to take a bath with my toaster, but my dog took it. That's why I hate my dog. And my cat died trying to chew my rope; it choked... Yea.
Dentist: I... meant your mouth... so I can clean your teeth.
Me: :O Ohhhh, my bad.
Dentist: Do you need help??
Me: Yep.
Dentist: ...
Me: ....
When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it.
“They see me rollin’, they hatin’.”
"Do you have a noose?"
"Nose?"
"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."
"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"
"No."
*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*
What's the difference between a picture of Jesus and the real Jesus? It only takes 1 nail to hang the picture.
Why did the orphan kill someone? Because it would make him wanted.
Roses are red, violets are blue, if I had a brick, I’d throw it at you.
Mom asks, "Why are you are THIS show??? It's DISTRACTING you from SCHOOL!!!!!"
The child says, "Don't you mean SCHOOL is distracting ME from this AWESOME show?"
Mom whispers, "Oh, you DEAD."