IT jokes
I pooped in a bottle and stuck my finger through it.
I took some of the boo boo out, licked it, and rubbed it on a wall, making a BOO BOO portal. I jumped into it and I saw BOO BOO LAND. I rolled all in the chunk poop and drank the diarrhea.
I don't call it suicide. I call it population control.
Q: Why did the Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the second Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was hit by the first Koala.
Q: Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it thought it was a game and joined in.
When I was walking home, a couple of married guys were saying, "Your mom is good at her job," but I realized my mom doesn't work.
So I ask my mom, "Why are these guys saying you're good at your job? You don't work." My mom said, "Yeah, I got a new job." So I said, "What do you do?" My mom said, "Job hand, no, I mean it's called a hand job."
I went home one day. My mom said, "Look what a few guys got me." It was a MILF trophy.
My mom asked what does that mean. So I said, "Mom's I'd Like To Fuck." Then my mom said, "These guys want to fuck me?" I said, "Yeah." Then my mom said, "I still got it!"
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how many you throw.
Why did the orange stop?
Because it ran out of juice. Hahhaha.
Why do people keep saying, "Why did the toilet paper not cross?" Because it got stuck in the crack, because it got stuck in their crack.
Homie: Let's meet.
Skrr: It's 🔥🌭
Meaning: It's hot [🔥] dawg [🌭]!
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.
It's hard to predict the future,
especially before it happens.
What's worse than 1 tree with 10,000 dead babies on it?
1 baby on 10,000 trees.
What's the difference between an onion and a dead baby?
The baby doesn't cry when you chop it.
A kid named Billy gets his lunch money stolen at school. The bully later gets his allowance, the lunch money, and his wallet taken by his father.
The father then gets all the money taken from him by the bully’s grandfather along with his own wallet. The grandfather then takes the money and gets it stolen by Billy along with his own wallet.
What did the shoe say to the other shoe?
Nothing, it was tied up in another conversation.
What did the rainbow say to the other rainbow?
Nothing, it was feeling blue.
How do you get a baby into a small bowl?
A blender.
How do you get it out? Tostito chips.
If anyone's gonna be fuckin' my sister, it's gonna be ME!
Me: That’s a good WAVE.
Friend: I SEA it.
Wave: Doesn't break for us to surf on.
Me: I was SHORE it would be good.
Friend: I SEA what you did there.
How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb?
“You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”