IT jokes

A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.

“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge.”

The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt.

“It’s really not your day, is it?”

Me: Mom, should I kill the main character in the book I'm writing to make things more interesting?

Mom: Sure, honey! What type of book are you writing?

Me: It's an autobiography.

Your hairline is so bent that Bob the Builder couldn't fix it.

What's the difference between Paul Walker and a fly? It's the sound they make when they hit the windshield.

I was gonna tell you a Kobe Bryant joke.

But it would just crash and burn.

I know this girl, Kamelah. She say, "What are you looking at?" I said, "I’m just tryna figure out why it look like Santa stole your hairline."

If you really think about it, every market in Africa is a black market.

How is sex like air?

It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.

Why does an orphan have an iPhone XR for their first phone?

Because it doesn’t have a home button.

EDP445 is a cupcake. Look it up.

If a black person calls you a cracker, let them say it. You can say things they can't say, like, "Thanks for the warning, officer!"

If I had a dime for everytime the Australian president shat himself in a McDonald's, I would have one dime, which is not a lot, but it's weird that it happened.

Who is the fastest reader? 9/11, it went through 10 stories in 7 seconds.

Yo hairline so large, you could land a fighter jet on it.

How much does a chimney cost?

It's free cause it's on the house.

Your forehead is so big that the teachers used it as a whiteboard.

Your forehead is so big that it's a 20 dollar taxi ride from your eyebrow to your hairline.

My friend told me an EMO joke once, and I said, "EMO jokes aren't funny, cut it out!"

Hey guys, it's Hailey here.

I'ma start off with henlo ;-;

I know you guys aren't going to believe me because of the assholes who were faking to be me, but if you can try to believe me, I'll explain.

So, Jake, we can't really be together anymore, since we no longer can chat. I'm so sorry.

Basically, my parents caught us on here as you realized. Yayyyy.

I don't have time to say anything else. So I've gotta go, but thankyou guys for everything you did for me.

Also, you won't get any response from me so yea. So sorry guys ;-;

I don't think my girlfriend likes it when I take my schizophrenia meds because she always goes away when I take them.