IT jokes
Your hairline is so bad, it goes back in time!
What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench?
The bench can support its family.
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)
Kid singing “abcd.”
Person says, “No, no, it’s obcd.”
A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes. Eventually, the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."
Why can’t a nose be 12 feet long?
Because then, it would be a foot.
"It's not a war crime if you invade a country with oil."
-Sun Tzu, Art of War
"A foolish man is lactose intolerant. A wise man simply tolerates it."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
"It's not a war crime if you win the war."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
"If your enemy is kicking your ass, blame it on the lag."
-- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
Your hairline's so far back, even Andrew Tate rejected it.
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)
I was playing hide and seek at work the other day. Unfortunately, it ended with me in the hospital, though; ICU.
If 6 is afraid because 7, 8, 9, why is 10 scared?
Because it's in between 9/11.
My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.
It was really heavy on me.
An orphan entered the high school for the first time. He has no knowledge of the school. He went to the secretary and asked where he shall go. The secretary then gave the orphan a schedule and said to the orphan, “Where is homeroom?” The secretary then asked which homeroom number he was assigned, and he said "1." The orphan then started to weep and said that his parents died right as he stole his first base in baseball.
I've got a job defusing landmines.
It's difficult, but hopefully soon I'll find my feet.
My mom asks, "How did you do this?" Me: "Naw, I did it with a fork. WHAT D'YA THINK?-"
How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.
A capital E backwards is just it's mirror image.