IT jokes
Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth, then it's a soap opera.
One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.
Your hairline is so wonky that it looks like the McDonald’s sign.
Why was the ant so smart? Because it always knew the answer.
Why couldn’t the orange cross the road? Because it ran out of juice.
Yo mama's so fat, it took me two buses and a train to get to her good side.
Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:
"Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."
Don't be racist, I am a building.
Twin Towers: fucked.
It was fake.
BE RACIST.
Your hairline so back it caused 9/11.
How to kill a blind person.
Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.
Why can't blind people eat crawfish? Because it's seafood!
Why is 10 scared?
Because it is in the huddle of 9/11.
I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.
Did you hear about the new drink commemorating Princess Diana?
It had nine shots and seven chasers!
Arab rizz. Are you a tower? Because I wanna blow you up and don't let your friend know about this. Rashid, I told you not to blow it up, I had it.
The greatest Arab pilot, my grandfather.
*True story*
I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"
What do you call the bell at the Asian restaurant?
I'm ta ping it, some ting won.
(The plane) we can’t go over it, we can’t go under it. Oh no, we have to go through it.
Why did the T-Rex not clap when you won a prize?
Because it's dead.
I was watching The Perfect Murder with my boyfriend. It was a good movie, but the weird thing was that my boyfriend was taking notes throughout the whole movie.