Islam

Islam Jokes

Pub

Islamic pubs and bars are the worst.

You can't drink alcohol or dance.

Women can get stoned though, no questions asked.

Father

I would like to die like my Islamic father, in his sleep, but not like the rest of the people in the plane or those in those identical towers.

Terrorist

It wasn't Islam that radicalized the terrorists who did 9/11.

Jenga comes to mind, though!

Bomber

What do Middle Eastern suicide bombers say before they blow up?

I weel sho u wot da bom bom is! ALLAH!

Man

Why did the Muslim man cross the road? To violently rape an eight-year-old girl, then indoctrinate her with Islamic scripture, and train her as a suicide bomber.

Pilot

Looking out for becoming a pilot, can y'all suggest some good mosques?

Don't want to learn the landing part, though, Allah said it's unnecessary.

People

People who make these jokes are plain crazy, more crazy than Islamic extremists.

Muslim

Why doesn't a Muslim girl like her dad and namaz?

Because she has to get on her knees.

Backpack

Muslim child to his mother: "Mom, why is my backpack so heavy?"

Mom: "Allahu Akbar, my son, Allahu Akbar!"

Religion

My friend asked me once, "Is there any religion in the world that preaches a god who masturbates in a closed room?"

"Islam it is."

Friend

I lost my black friend in the shadows. I lost my white friend on the wall. I lost my Asian friend in the sand and I lost my Islamic friend in the bombings.

Girlfriend

Why did Zayn Malik get his girlfriend to convert to Islam? So she can declare GiGIHADid.

Suicide

When you want to commit suicide, just say "Allahu Akbar," there will definitely be a blast.