Interior Design jokes

I'm jealous of my LED lights, 'cause they're hanging from the ceiling and I'm not.

I don't like consistency. Last night, I spent three hours looking at a room and thinking, "I need a flower pot here, and the couch should be on the right." Eventually, the police arrived and led me away from my neighbor's window.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw the baby.

There's a one-story house. Everything's yellow, even the kitchen, living room, and bedrooms. What color are the stairs?

What do renovators and lesbians have in common?

They're both not interested in exposed wood, apparently.

I told the emo girl that I bet she's jealous of the hanging lights in the gym.

My mom told me it's not healthy to stay in my room all day... but the only places I'm allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.

What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.

What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).

Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense. Baby, we didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing.

My wrists have a different texture pack than the rest of me.