Imagination jokes
Imagine this whole “Dr. Strange jokes” is just full of people simping over him.
Couldn’t Be Me.
Mom: You need to grow up. You're so immature.
Me: *glares* Get out of my castle....
Mom: It's a pillow fort.
Me: Why can't I have an imagination! ?
Mom: You're almost 19 years old.
Me: Not good enough... OUT!
Imagine the only way you can get laid is if you force it. 😂 Loser!
Me: U know the show called Imagine Dragons?
Friends: No, what is it?
Me: Imagine dragon this nuts across yo mouth.
I couldn't imagine being Abe Lincoln, that would be mind-blowing!
God: ok, what if I made an evil land octopus that could walk on walls?
So imagine bullying an orphan so bad they cry, and then you say, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"
Imagine being such a low life that you need people to roast you to have stuff to do.
Imagine.
Getting a book on pasta?
Yes. Just imagine the pastabilities there are!
My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, "No, wait! I can change."
Imagine you ask a girl out in braille.
And she leaves you on felt.
I had a dream about the whole ocean being filled with orange soda.
Turns out it was a Fanta sea.
A robber breaks into a house while the residents are away one dark night. Eager to see what he can loot, he quickly starts searching through cupboards and dressers, grabbing valuables with a trained eye. Suddenly, he hears a voice come out of nowhere. "Jesus is watching you." The criminal jumps, scared the residents are back, and freezes. After a few minutes of silence however, he assumes it was his imagination, and goes back to robbing.
A couple minutes pass, before once again, the voice returns. "Jesus is watching you." Quite confused, the thief searches the house and checks the front door, but nothing pops out as unusual. He finally decides to move rooms, and finds a parrot, but ignores it. Before he can begin to do anything, someone speaks again, "Jesus is watching you." The robber realized it was the parrot talking!
Going to the parrot, he asks it, "Are you the one who's been talking to me?" The parrot responds, "Yes." The thief couldn't believe it. So, he asks another question. "What is your name?" "Ismael." the parrot replies. The man scoffed. "What type of idiot names a parrot Ismael?" The parrot speaks yet again, "The same type of idiot that names a Rottweiler Jesus."
Imagine someone leaving a cut-out of Jeff Bezos on your car after you found out your blind bf cheated on you, and the McDonald's employee says over the speaker, "Weren't expecting him to see other hoes were you?"
What's the artist imagine something?
Imagine Dragons!
Imagine draggin' these nuts across your face!
There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe.
He woke up at night, with a terrible fright, to find out his dream had come true.
Imagine if hitting the iceberg wasn't an accident and it was all just the sailors' fault like this:
Sailor 1: Hey Ron. Sailor 2: Yeah? Sailor 1: You see that iceberg over there? Sailor 2: Yeah. Sailor 1: You know what would be pretty funny?
Have you heard of Imagine Dragons (the band)? Imagine dragging these nuts across your face.
My daughter has been writing letters asking Satan for gifts. Imagine my shock when I realized she has dyslexia.