Im

Im jokes

Orphan

    • Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?

    Kid: Why?

    Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.

    Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.

    Man: Why?

    Kid: I'm an orphan.

    Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!

    (You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")

    Life

    • I think I found the worst joke in life. For me, it's that I have always been unwanted and alone for my whole life, and I've never even been in a relationship with anyone, and I'm 31 years old, and I also know that deep down, I'm always going to be alone and unhappy. All I get out of life is seeing everyone else with someone and knowing it will never happen for me. I think that's the worst joke I can think of... LIFE.

    Still living when you know you'll never find someone to be with.

    I apologize with the wording to this; it's another thing I am a failure at.

    Feel free to comment.

    Animal

    • My girlfriend said to me, "Dear, I think you have hit an animal, there's blood and dents all over the bonnet."

    I said, "No, love, I'm not waiting for a Black Lives Matter rally."

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    • Im memes

    Mama

    • Your mama so fat when she steps on the scale, the scale said, "I'm trying to get your weight, not your phone number!"

    Sibling

    • A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."

    The other sibling said, "You are, too."

    Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."

    And the sibling says, "We're twins."

    The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."

    Sleeper

    • Someone asked me if I was a good sleeper. I told them I'm so good that I can do it with my eyes closed.

    Rabbit

    • What do you call a sad rabbit? Unhoppy.

    Why isn't there a sad sunglasses emoji? To show that I am happy but I'm still cool.

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    • Minecraft

    • Asdf movie: meow meow I’m a cow.

    Me to my villagers in Minecraft: chick chick my guns cocked so frick.

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    • Love

    • Okay Air Attack Productions... Beat This-Falling-By watersharky Productions and TD.

    My last made me feel like I would never try again, But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt, Come closer, I'll give you all my love, If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything, My last made me feel like I would never try again, But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt, Come closer, I'll give you all my love, If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything, Talk to me, I need to hear you need me like I need ya, Fall for me, I wanna know you feel how I feel for you, love, Before you, baby, I was numb, drowned out pain by pouring up, Speeding fast on the run, never want to get caught up, Now you the one that I'm calling, Swore that I'd never fall again, don't think I'm just talking, I think I might go all in, no exceptions, girl, I need ya, Think I'm out of my mind, 'cause I can't get enough, Only one that I give my time, 'cause I got eyes for ya, Might make an exception for ya, 'cause I been feeling ya, Think I might be out of my mind, I think that you're the one, My last made me feel like I would never try again, But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt, Come closer, I'll give you all my love, If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything, My last made me feel like I would never try again, But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt, Come closer, I'll give you all my love, If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything, I'll never give my all again, 'Cause I'm sick of falling down, When I open up and give my trust, They find a way to break it down, Tear me up inside, and you break me down.