Im Jokes

My freind said he wanted to die and I told him not to jump but when he screamed hi im jhonny Knoxville and welcome to jackass I knew it was over

Male Patient: So I just pull my pants down and bend over for my prostate exam

Doctor: Yup

Male: Ok I'm ready....hey doc that doesn't feel like a finger

Doctor: He he yeah...im not a doctor

My mom told me a joke she made 13 years ago but ahe didnt tell me what it was........anyways im turning 14 next month.

My Teacher said ̈Im gonna leave soon, i dont want to be here anymore! ̈, So i shot her.

Im at my happiest point in life im dating someone thats autistic, and i was just saying i needed someone special in my life.

Ok there has to be SOMEONE on this website right now, whoever that is wanna chat? (im just bored)

me:your ugly.. person:im not your mirror.... me:i never told you to be my mirror:p

i only cut to find out if im real or cake

Two windmills were standing in a wind farm, one asked whats your favorite type of music, the other one replied... IM A BIG METAL FAN

Im not a failure. Suuuurrrre.

im m 24 and i was fucking a chinese lady and she kept screaming "im tu yung!" like idk what that name is

I am a registered sex offender im just playing i'm not registered yet

Some people say I like heights other say Im a dare devil

In reality I like killing myself

GUYS THIS IS SO WRONG IM A ORPHAN AND THIS EXTREMLY OFFENDS ME im telling my parents um.......

Im worth something, I got a barcode on my arm!

I wanted to make a Joke about Homeworks,but sadly im an Orphan

i saw a cuban prisoner i asked why are you running from the cops he said IM FREE AT LAST.

so the coach got mad at me cause im the only one on my team who is only a bit on the spectrum and i was just keeping the ball to myself and the coach pulled me aside and said pass to others i said why and he said theres no i in team and i said ya but theres an m e

“Daddy, what are those 2 things on mum’s chest?”. Asked Tom “Those are just....balloons”.said dad (Later) “Dad! I think mum’s dying!”said Tom. “Why?” Asked dad. “Because uncles blowing her balloons and she said “oh god im cumming!”