Im jokes

Hey, wanna hear a construction joke?

- Sure.

Oh sorry, I'm still working on it :-]

I remember locking my door, but then I went downstairs to hear someone say, "I'm inside your home." I said, "GTFO my house, BICH!"

Holy cow!

A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”

“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”

I'm not counting, but I have some fingers for you.

Most people my age have had sex. Not my fault I'm not able to fit in.

I'm upset, but when I saw you, you never let me down.

Ur dad

Omg, I'm sooooo sry!!!!!

Orphan: I’m gonna tell my parents!

Me: Where are they?

Orphan: ̄\_(ツ)_/ ̄

I'm shidding. Still babies are still coming and going.

So the other day I saw a homeless man. He tried to mug me. I let him.

I had nothing on me either. (I'm on the next block over.)

I'm still wondering who took Jesus' sandals.

Even the one who ate that dove that sat at Jesus' shoulder. 🤔

What’s the bravest thing a man can do?

Say, “I’m going to get milk!” to his wife and kids.

"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason I’m "bonely" is because you guys don’t find my jokes "humerus."

Maybe if I played the trombone it would get people’s attention, but "tibia" honest I can’t be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesn’t really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?

The joke I'm telling is my brother, Joey.

I was going to tell a joke about a mirror, but it seems that I'm looking at one.

"I’m going through a lot of things right now," I said frustratedly to the person on the line as I crashed straight through the next building in my car.

1. Your brother says... “you look ugly.” You say back... “Nice, I was trying to look like you.”

2. You're so dumb, I'm surprised you even made it to kindergarten.

3. The ugly vowels: A, E, I, O, and YOU.

Girl: "Daddy!"

Father: "Do I love you?"

Girl: "I'm a... a girl!"

Father: "Mhm!"

Woman: "Daddy?"

Father: "Of course?"

Woman: "I'm a girl too!"

Father: "Does God love children?"

Boy: "Yessss..."

Meow meow, I'm a cow and I like cum cum cum.

Hey, I'm Gwen. I just want to say I am speechless.