Hug

Hug jokes

Neona

    • Neona (馃槥): Are you mad at me?

    Gwen (馃槍): Me? NEVER! Sometimes we listen and don't listen, let's just hug it out!

    Neona (馃榿): Agreed!

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    • Parachute

    • There are 4 people on a plane while it's crashing and there are only 3 parachutes. There's Opera, Obama, a little girl, and Trump. Opera grabs a parachute and says, "I'm famous, I get one!" And Trump grabs one and says, "Well, I'm president, of course I get one!" Obama looks at the little girl and says, "Since you're the future of our generation, take the last one." The little girl hugs Obama and says, "Actually, we can both have one. Trump took my backpack!"

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    • Height

    • Store owner: You have to be 40 inches tall to go into the adult section.

    Kid: Please.

    Store owner: Oh okay, but get on your tippy toes.

    Kid: Everybody is hugging.

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    • Hug memes

    Life Story

    • Hello! I'm Taylor, and this is my life story with me and my ex girl. So when I was little, I met this girl. Her name was Leah. We were besties for a while until I turned 13. Then I asked if she wanted to date me. She said yes!

    But one day, in the middle of school, she was talking to another man!!!!!!! AND THEY HUGGED AND KISSED EACH OTHER ON THE CHEEK!!!!!! Then, she told me she hated me. I was so upset!!!!!!!! Whatever you do, don't follow the ugly rat!!!!!!!!! <3

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    • Life

    • Whenever someone calls me ugly, I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

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    • Height

    • I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.

    And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."

    Water Bottle

    • Water bottles, strong, Standing tall, like sturdy men, Quenching every thirst.

    Clear and transparent, Reflecting strength and resolve, Resilient and pure.

    In hand, they offer Refreshing relief, like hugs, Soothing every soul.

    Water bottles, like men, Nourish and hydrate our lives, Simple yet vital.

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    • Bear

    • When it comes to bears, of course they always give bear hugs, well what do you call them when they aren't hugging right?

    Just barely hugging you! Lol.

    Jesus

    • Jesus was being hung up on the cross, and me and all the other people at the bottom of the hill were watching. Jesus cries out,

    "Peter, Peter come to me!"

    So I climb up the hill on my hands and knees, and when I reach the top, the Romans cut off my arms and chuck me back down the hill.

    "Peter, Peter come to me!" cries Jesus once more. I stumble up the hill, then the Romans cut my legs off and threw me back down. For the third time, Jesus cries,

    "Peter, Peter come to me!". So I wriggle up the hill, and I guess the Romans pitied me and let me through.

    "Look Peter, I can see my house from here!"

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    • Cheat

    • I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. I was sitting in the back of the movie theater, where no one was. Suddenly, she was sitting in front of me with some guy she was hugging. I was furious. I couldn't stay there anymore, so her friend and I had to finish it in the toilet.

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    • Huggy Wuggy

    • Why was Huggy Wuggy not able to hug Cody鈥檚 mom?

    Because she was so fat he couldn鈥檛 fit his arms around her.

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    • Idiot

    • RICK: GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT OH GUESS WHAT MOTHERFUCKER OR IMMA SAY IT!!!!!!

    Richard: What????

    Rick: So before Donald Trump's impeachment, he said, "The Coronavirus will end on March 32nd 2021."

    Richard: Your from planet Earth where there's a March 32nd. Enjoy it, *stupid dumb fuck brother*.

    Rick: Oh I will.

    *It was the day March 21st*

    *9 Days later*

    *March 31st*

    Rick: oh I cant wait until tomorrow!!!!!!!!!! Ooh im so excited im gonna give my friends a big ole bro hug and hand shake i miss the muhfuckin dudes man

    *one day later*

    *He got his school uniform waiting for the bus not seeing it*

    Rick:....... wai......Huh!?!?...... hol....up

    BITCH IM AND IDIOT THERE IS NO MOTHERFUCKING MARCH 32ND THIS IS THE MOTHERFUCKING 1ST OF APRIL TRUMP DUMBASS

    *Richard*

    *oh he's the dumbass*

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