Howe jokes
How many kids does it take to change a light bulb? Apparently not 343,646 because my basement is still as dark as yours.
How did Peter Cottontail get his swing on? He made love to Alice in Wonderland.
How fast did Little Sally paint the barn red?
As soon as the bomb exploded on her.
Me: I know how to use a microwave!
Also me: Mom! The microwave is on fire!
True story.
Q: How to hit an orphan?
A: Hit them with a family tree.
Memes
How to tell your kid is adopted? Hi Daisy, let's play a game called "You're adopted!" I will start: Your mum died so I had to adopt you, but don't think I love you because you were the only kid there, haha!
How do you saw an apple with no mouth?
A P P L E
The waiter asked me, "How would you like your steak?"
I replied, "As soon as possible!"
How did Steven Hawking die? His WiFi disconnected.
How did Stephen Hawking die? He lost Wi-Fi.
Hi, how are you today?
How do you quiet a baby down?
Make baby back ribs for dinner.
Me: I know how to use a microwave!
Also me: Mom! The microwave is on fire!
How do you make holy water?
You take it to church ⛪️
How does water say hi?
It waves.
How do you make a tissue dance?
You give it a little boogie.
A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a drink?"
The bartender responds, "For you, no charge."
How does he go for a poo? He logs out.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a power cut.
How did Steven Hawking die?
He lost internet connection.