Howe jokes
How many times do I tap that ass? OVER 9000!
Dad: Hey son, do you like Christmas?
12 year old me: Yeah!
Dad: Well, how would you feel about two?
Me: What?
It’s so sad how Stephen Hawking was just rolling too far away from the outlet. RIP :(
How do trees find each other? They log-ate!
How does a well-educated graduate approach a delicate situation?
I don't know, how does a well-graduated education approach a what?
With a degree!
Memes
How come Christmas is one time? Because it is so nice!
You: Did you get the new snoo subscription?
Other: What's snoo?
You: Not much, how 'bout you?
How do cows say "oof?"
They say, "MOOf."
How does a cow introduce his wife?
Meet Patty.
My friend asked me:
Friend: "How much is your body worth?"
Me: "1 million."
Friend: "1 million dollars?!"
Me: "No. 1 million kilograms."
Friend: "Oh."
How were Stephen Hawking's best mates, Siri and Google?
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how many you throw.
How do you surprise a blind kid?
Put a plunger in the toilet.
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
They wear their ICE.
How do rappers freshen their breath?
With COOL YO mints!
How do you know a rapper is ready to cook?
He drops the beet.
You know how Joe Biden is happy?
When he is rubbing a little girls' shoulders and eating ice cream.
My cousin really loves baseball.
He always brags about how many home runs he hit in the minors.
How do booties greet each other?
"What's crackin'?"
How does a booty apologize?
From the bottom of his fart!