Howe jokes
You are in the airway, how funny!
How do goldfish know when to eat?
They don't. They have a memory span of 3 seconds.
Ooh, I wonder what's on this browser. *clicks* "How to tell your kid they're adopted."
Why do orphans have phones?
Because they don't know how to call home.
How long are you? I
Memes
How do you know Thor has your back?
He's an Asgardian (ass guardian).
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a boogie in it!
Mom, why was I adopted?
Because people are terrible, and that’s how the world works, son!
Ok, Dad, the world is TERRIBLE!
How do you turn your dog into a watchdog?
Get it a Rolex!
How names were named.
"I have to go because my tailor is at the gym where he will chase coal before dawn."
"SAY THAT AGAIN. SO MANY GOOD NAMES!"
How do you find a rapper in a snowstorm?
Look for the one with the "ICE-COLD RHYMES."
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
With their FIRE LYRICS!
How do sick Mexicans say hello?
"Ebola."
How ironic is this?! I was playing Jenga before the first plane hit the Twin Towers.
How do you get rid of a fat ghost? You exercise it.
This is how animals were named.
"Bye Son." *cuts call*. What are we talking about?
"Bison. Perfect."
Women should be seen and not heard.
But how would you control that if she was screaming "NO!!!" in the bedroom?
I like my women how I like my bacon.
Well Dunn!!!
How to silence a black protester at a rally?
TURN OFF THE LIGHTS, TURN OFF THE LIGHTS, TURN OFF THE LIGHTS.
It's a shame Iran doesn't know how to restrain Israel. If only they had Hitler's expertise.
Now he really would be THE FINAL SOLUTION!