Howe jokes
Bully: How is your girlfriend?
Me: I don't have one!
Bully: I know!
Me: How are your parents?
*Walks out of orphanage*
How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?
Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.
How do bees go to school?
They go on a school buzz.
How do you win an argument against an emo kid?
Kick the chair out from under them.
For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:
Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."
Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."
Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."
Memes
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap until their parents come back.
According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines:
1. What was your income for the year?
2. What were your expenses?
3. How much have you left?
4. Send it in.
Your loved one dies and you call the Coroner's office. They answer, "Hello, this is Benny from the Coroner's office, you stab 'em, we slab 'em, how may I be of service?"
How do you get into Hogwarts? Through the Dumble Door.
How do you stop a terrorist from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
How have you been recently?
Oh, just playing some Rhydon.
What’s Rhydon?
Rhydon deez nutz!
How do you make Prince Andrew sad? You tell him you're over 16.
How do astronauts have a party?
They planet.
1: Hey.
2: What?
1: We're outta paint.
2: *HMM*
(And that's how stop signs have extra paint.)
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a boogie in it!
How many babies does it take to paint the walls red?
Depends how hard you throw them.
Hey D.K., how are you? :)
Love you!
How do you organize a rave party in Ethiopia? Just put some bread on the ceiling.
Do you know how to make a plumber cry?
Kill his family.
How many clickbait articles does it take to change a lightbulb? The answer may shock you!