Household Appliance jokes

There was a big problem yesterday.

My dishwasher has stopped working; her visa had expired.

Do you put a baby in the microwave covered or uncovered?

Covered, it can take weeks to clean up the explosion.

What's the difference between a woman and a washing machine? The washing machine doesn't follow you after you put a load in it.

Dad: Why did Jimmy fall off his bicycle?

Son: Why?

Dad: Because somebody threw a washing machine at him.

When the washer started running, why did you join me?

Because I had to catch it.

What do you call a midget that waves? A microwave.

I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday.

I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.

Do you want to buy my Hoover?

I mean... it's just collecting dust.

What is the best type of bath bomb?

A toaster.

The Toaster, otherwise known as the ultimate bath bomb.

What's black and screams?

Stevie Wonder answering the iron!

What's the difference between a baby and a freezer?

The freezer doesn't scream when I put my meat in it.