There was a big problem yesterday.
My dishwasher has stopped working; her visa had expired.
Do you put a baby in the microwave covered or uncovered?
Covered, it can take weeks to clean up the explosion.
What's the difference between a woman and a washing machine? The washing machine doesn't follow you after you put a load in it.
Dad: Why did Jimmy fall off his bicycle?
Son: Why?
Dad: Because somebody threw a washing machine at him.
When the washer started running, why did you join me?
Because I had to catch it.
What do you call a midget that waves? A microwave.
I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday.
I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
Do you want to buy my Hoover?
I mean... it's just collecting dust.
What is the best type of bath bomb?
A toaster.
The Toaster, otherwise known as the ultimate bath bomb.
What's black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron!
What's the difference between a baby and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't scream when I put my meat in it.
