Home

Home jokes

Food

    • Every time I come in the kitchen, my girl is in the kitchen in the damn refrigerator eating all the food, like the fried chicken, the mashed potatoes, the collard greens, mac and cheese, and the cornbread.

    Then I said I wanna eat some of that shit. I love soul food. Then I told her, "You keep it up; your fat ass is going to be big like the house on Haunted Hill."

  • 1

    • Orphan

    • What do you call an orphan with parents?

    Idk, I never met one before.

    Bonus joke: I went up to an orphan and asked where his parents were. He said, "I don’t have any." I said, "Wonder why."

    Another bonus joke: Me: Hey. Orphan: Hey. Me: What do you do for fun? Orphan: Look for my parents. Me: Me, so they're not dead? Orphan: No, they just abandoned me.

    More bonus: What do you call a homeless kid?

    An orphan.

    Last bonus: Why don’t orphanages teach kids about home?

    Because they can’t find one.

    lmao this is so funny, dark humor can be funny. Sorry, orphans!

  • 3

    • Cockroach

    • A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps on a cockroach.

    They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.

  • 0
    • Home memes

    Woman

    • So a woman walks into a magician's toy store and browses the collection. Among which was a black, phallic-looking object. She brings it to the counter and asks, "what's this?"

    The cashier explains that it's a magical dildo that will listen to whatever you say, "fuck me in the ass," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the ass, "fuck me in the pussy," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the pussy, "faster," it'll go faster, "harder," it'll go harder. She bought this magical artifact and went home for a night of fun and pleasure.

    After receiving several orgasms from the magical dildo, she'd had enough, and she told it to stop, but it didn't. The dildo continued to penetrate her, it would go harder and faster, but it refused to stop or slow down. In a panic, she ran over to her car and drove to the hospital to get it surgically removed. Her panic made her disregard the traffic rules, and she quickly found herself pulled over by a cop. As she pulled down her window, the cop leaned towards the door and asked "Do you have any idea how fast you were going!?", the woman tried to explain the situation, she told the officer about the magical dildo stuck in her pussy, but the officer didn't believe her, "magical dildo, my ass" he said, and the lady drove home.

  • 1

    • Moment

    • The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.

  • 0

    • Orphan

    • I went up to an orphan bully and I said, "Here, look, I made a website!"

    The orphan likes it, but the kid says, "I forgot one feature, though... the home button."

    Friend

    • One day I went to my friend's apartment, and he told me to make myself at home.

    I threw him out of the window. I hate having visitors!

  • 1

    • Asian

    • Q: How do you know if an Asian broke into your house?

    A: All your homework and the Rubik's cube you spent a year on and still can’t solve is solved. 🤓🤓🤓🤓

  • 1

    • Orphan

    • Why can’t orphans have phones?

    Because it has a home button.

    Why don’t orphans play baseball?

    Because they can’t get a home run.

    Day

    • Good day today, love you. Walk in love day and a walk home night. Night, night. I did not get snow. I love it is the day that we get a tree. I have to go get some sleep. Was good day at school today, but I’m going to be...

    Kidnapping

    • I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dad's friend and I would take him home. He just curled up into a ball and started crying. Kidnapping must be easy.

  • 6