My dogs pooped in my shoes? Pooper.
Home Jokes
Why can't orphans complete homework?
Because they have no home!
What do orphans not see on a controller?
The home button.
Kid: Imagine being an orphan!
Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*
Kid: WAIT, WHAT!
Why can't orphans cross the street? Because they can't go home.
I was walking home, then I saw a "Wait" sign. A man came and took me. I'm still waiting for him to ask for a lesson.
A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question can go home."
A boy throws his bag out the window.
The teacher asks, "Who just threw that?"
The boy says, "Me! I’m going home now."
"Is your refiger running?"
"Is your refrigerator running? You better go catch it!"
Why is the iPhone X best for orphans?
There is no home button.
My screen lock is my favorite picture of my wife. When I'm on a 14-hour shift, being miserable, hating my life... I pull out my phone and gaze at the picture of my wife. Then I realize it's better here than at home with her ass.
This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"
At what point does a joke become a dad joke?
When it disappears and never returns home.
I just prevented an 11-year-old from getting assaulted.
I decided to go home.
I just prevented a 10-year-old from getting assaulted.
Nothing much, I just decided to go home.
How is a marriage like a hurricane?
In the beginning, there’s a lot of sucking and blowing, but at the end, you lose your house.
After 6 months of lockdown,
I was thinking a bit about Bin Laden. He stayed at home with 3 wives for 5 years. I'm beginning to suspect he called the Navy Seals himself.
An orphan comes up to me and says, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."
Why is an orphan's favorite movie Spider-Man: No Way Home?
I was asked to design a website for an orphanage, so I decided to design it without the home page.
What food has an orphan made?
Homemade food.
