Home jokes
So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.
Why did the panda cross the road to get to the bamboo house?
My friend playing truth or dare asked me: "Dare".
My friends: "I dare you to go home."
I was in math class when my teacher gave us homework, and she said to me, "You're gonna get an F this time." So I went back home, and f**k my teacher.
What happens when there's ten people in one house and they all have to shit and there's one bathroom?
It's a motherfucking shitshow party!
What thing can an orphan do best?
Stay at home alone.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? They don't know where home is.
I would invite you to play baseball, but there's no home for you to run to.
Why do orphans like Minecraft? So they can build a home...
But a creeper blows it up.
Why is the iPhone X best for orphans?
There is no home button.
My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigsty. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.
Apparently I'm not allowed home after house fires, but the neighbors, their house burnt lovely.
My dogs pooped in my shoes? Pooper.
Kid: Imagine being an orphan!
Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*
Kid: WAIT, WHAT!
Why can't orphans cross the street? Because they can't go home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
Why was the orphan so successful?
When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
I'm making a website for orphans. [I] won't add the home page.
(Phone call) This is Frank's funeral home and grill, where yesterday's grief is today's beef. How may we help you?
Why will the orphan never say, "Honey, I'm home?"
No one wants him, not even the bees.