Home jokes
This dwarf was being mean to me, so I said, "When you get home, I hope Snow White kicks the shit out of you."
What does a stray cat/dog have in common?
Both of them don't have a home!
Stranger: Tries to kidnap a kid.
Kid: Runs home.
A few minutes later, the kid was in the back of the van...
If you know, you know.
Why can't orphans play softball?
Because they don't know where home base is.
For Charlie D'Amelio fans, my basement is your home now. Leave a like if you agree with me.
I made Google Earth for orphan kids.
Sadly, it does not show where home is.
What is wrong with orphans' phones?
They'll never have a home screen.
After arriving home from helping the priest, a young altar boy approaches his parents, "Mommy, Daddy, my poop is white!"
The mother rushes the boy to the hospital, while the father rushes to church in a rage and proceeds to beat the living hell out of the priest. Afterwards, the father heads to the hospital and meets his wife in the waiting room; she's surprisingly calm.
"How can you be so relaxed after what that bastard has been doing to our son?" he exclaims.
The wife looks up at him, "What are you talking about? It's just a liver infection!"
One day, I was sitting on my couch watching YouTube when I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door, and to my surprise, it was my dad. I haven't seen him in 16 years, so I let him in. I noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand, and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge.
Then he walked towards me and said, "Oh no! I forgot the cereal!" Then he walked out the door and drove away. I never saw him again.
I was in math class when my teacher gave us homework, and she said to me, "You're gonna get an F this time." So I went back home, and f**k my teacher.
Dear Orphans,
I have a better orphanage for you. It's my basement :)
My mom and dad got home from a party pretty late. Why do I know? Because I was playing Minecraft all night.
Anyways, they get home and start fumbling up the stairs and being really loud. I could have swore I heard them fall down. I assumed they were drunk. I was just playing my Switch when they come into my room. Now I'm about 10 at the time so I watch them get undressed IN MY FUCKING BED! I then just stare at them as they notice me before I witness anything. They say that they were doing "intense kissing" the next morning. I believed that at the time, but now I've been to health class. I now know the truth. I wish I hadn't.
Why does the army take orphans as fighter jet pilots?
Because homing missiles don’t work on them.
When I was 11, my mom came home from the bar super drunk that night, and I just wanted to know if they knew where the cat was because I heard a noise. We had a loooooooong talk the next morning.
Why was the orphan confused at the baseball game?
They kept yelling, "Go home!"
Why are orphans running around the world after the baseball coach said, "Go home"?
Because he didn’t know what the hell to do.
Why do orphans like emos?
Reverse "emo" and put an "h" in the beginning.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because there's no home.
What is the difference between an apple tray and an orphan? The apples get picked.
An orphan asked if they could move into my house yesterday. I said, "Don't you have a family?"
Why can't orphans have an iPhone?
'Cause they can't find the home button.