HI jokes
Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted. Me and my dad were going out and walk home and walk walk home from school and walk home from home and walk home and walk walk home, and I will get back with him tomorrow morning.
I was wearing a mask and told the teacher I ate her vagina. She said what? I pulled my mask down and said, "No, I said I like your hyenas." Then a kid sees me do it, but he only heard the first part, so he goes up to the teach and says, "I'ma fuck you tonight." She said, "Pull your mask down," and he pulls his mask down and says, "I'ma fuck you tonight."
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer.
My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path."
People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.
A pirate walks into a tavern with a pirate ship attached to his nutty wuttys. It's driving me nuts!
A troll proceeds to pull out a desert eagle and shoot the pirate in the face. He makes a poggers face and says, "Problem??"
Hi! I’m going back home.
Memes
Hey, did you know that Stephen Hawking predicted the end of the world?
Well, not really. He predicted the end of *his* world.
Why did Stephen Hawking die when he logged onto Facebook?
It took all his info!
Why did C.S.C. fail the trigonometry test?
Cosecant remember his own name.
Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his carer lost his charger.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream?
He was hit by an ice cream truck.
My friend lives in a caravan park. His parents named him Money because they thought it was a type of currency.
What did the mongol say to his dog?
Down syndrome!
An Asian gets a choice between his rice cooker or his son. He instantly picks the cooker and says, "He got a B+ in maths last week; he's a failure!"
How can a pimp save money in buying condoms for his stable?
Answer: Have his hoes wash and rinse them after every use.
My friend's dad died during 9/11. He was such a good pilot, but my friend kept disturbing him, so when his dad died, he said, "It was you who killed me" (to the child).
So the child said, "Yoo-hoo? What type of name is Yoo-hoo, but Yoo-hoo, Yoo-hoo come here, I need to kill you NOW."
Why did the rapper go to school?
To get his degree in FLOW-NOMICS.
How does a rapper start his day?
With a MIC check!
Why did the rapper become an electrician?
Because he wanted to SHOCK the audience with his RHYMES.
Why did the rapper bring a suitcase to the studio?
Because he was packing his rhyme books!
Me: Hi Kallen.
Kallen: Hi.
Me: You're too big to fit in my car.